I know that lately this blog has become just a list of what I do each day, I apologize if it is boring you. I think it has been like that for a few reasons. First, it is what some of my blog readers are looking for I think, the people like my parents who I don't talk to all that often but want to know what is going on in my life more. I may put something here that they did not know about in our phone and text conversations. Second, its easy. Its much easier to post about the random things that happened over the weekend than to delve into various thoughts and questions, some of which are controversial. Third, it is just how I have been feeling. I have not had time or energy to mull over anything really interesting lately, I spend a lot of energy just making sure I am doing what I can to be healthy for baby and to not feel like crap.
So, how about a ranting post for a change?
We got our bill from the hospital. Looking at the itemized list is ridiculous. There is something seriously wrong w/out hospital's charge people. I am not saying we got charged too much either, I am just saying that the itemized list is all wrong. I mean, the point of an itemized list is to explain why your bill is what it is, not to list random prices the hospital has assigned to things. This is how you end up getting charged $56 for a dose of Tylenol that, as they bill even stated, I administered to myself. What is costing money is not the tylenol, but rather the record keeping, and the nurses care and the doctors expertise, and the well equipped hospital that was ready to deal with me if things got worse. So why doesn't my bill even mention these things? Instead it has all of these physical items, like "IV Therapy, $2780.80". Really? The IV cost $2780? I don't think so. I would much rather see "IV equipment use 24 hrs $1000, Nurses IV monitoring $1780.80" than this, or however they actually explain the expense when they come up with these prices. I know its a matter of semantics, but I am just saying whats the point of an itemized bill if it does not really tell you how the costs are incurred?
Of course we are among the lucky who have health insurance and we will be paying much less out of pocket than this itemized list totals, which is another can of worms I am not going to get into involving just what is broken about our healthcare system in America. I have to say seeing this bill gives me a little more sympathy for the plethora of claimants I have every week that say things like "I can't afford to go to the doctor every time my condition acts up because I don't have insurance" or those who beg us to expedite their case because of the medical bills they are facing. The fact is that not getting medical care can affect your ability to get disability, because if you don't have your own treatment then all we have to go on is a one-time exam. This one time exam will be pretty good for things like back problems, chronic lung disease, etc, but it will not give us any real perspective if you have severe seizures or migraines or asthma attacks or anything like that. Or lets say, if you have cancer that you have not been able to get treatment for because you don't have insurance. There are some really sad things that happen to people in this country that do not have insurance. Back when we were in training we worked on a practice case (using a real person from a long time ago), who was diagnosed with cancer and told to report for tx. She did not see anyone for six months because of money problems/lack on insurance. When she went back to the doctor 6 months later they told her there was nothing they could do for her as the cancer was to advanced. Of course she got disability at this point, and then died shortly after. Yet we are supposedly the "best" country in the world (or thats how many American's view it!).
I recognize there is no perfect healthcare system, and I also recognize that there is not enough resources in the world to give everyone perfect healthcare, but there has to be something that makes more sense than what we are doing now.
Showing posts with label vent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vent. Show all posts
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Talkative Day...
I tried to do a big "picture catch up" post last night w/pictures from our anniversary, my parents visit, and a couple of other things, but they would not upload and I was not in the mood to give it a second go. I will try again soon.
I am now officially reading War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy - the biggest book on my "read before the baby comes" list that I previously posted. The copy I have is 1455 pages long, which is about average I believe. I am on page 122 - which is both significant in that I am not even 10% of the way through, and that it took me this long to really get into it. The writing is extremely theatrical in nature/narration style. Most of the time, instead of stating what a character is feeling or thinking, Tolstoy describes some physical appearance or characteristic that is a "tell" as to how they are feeling, almost like it is a play and he is describing how the actor should portray the character. I do look forward to continuing it. The story itself is supposed to be of epic proportion - concerning the invasion of Napolean into Russia, but right now it is just your standard society scheming and plotting, courtship and inheritance, sex and death. I do look forward to continuing it and am definitely feeling like I can make it through, which I really did not feel like was an option 1-2 months ago. Therefore, I think my inability to read anything serious in the past couple of months was related to my own psyche - the chaos of friends leaving, stress at work, summer business, and not to pregnancy brain.
DH and I got cable back! They came and reinstalled basic cable for us on Tuesday morning. In the next week or so I will cancel our Netflix. I don't know if I have discussed this decision on here or not. You may or may not know that Netflix announced a significant price increase to take effect Sept 1st. Basically they are going from packages that combine DVD and streaming services to seperate packages for each, that cost the same as what we are currently paying for both. So in other words, we currently pay $9.99 for DVD and streaming service. If we wanted to continue getting the same service we would have to pay $7.99 for the DVDs and $7.99 for streaming, for an overall price of $15.98, a 60% price increase. My response to this was two-sided. The rational/calculating side of me recognized that we almost NEVER use the DVD service and we would probably wouldn't even miss it if we just switched to streaming and continued using Netflix. The less calculating side of me was pissed off big time. A company that's service is totally entertainment can't just raise their prices 60% and expect their not to be a backlash. And in this case, they gave no real justification for the price range - and denied most of the justifications provided by the media (expense increases etc). I felt like the company was being totally scheming and not being honest with its customers. SO, in short. The combination of the price raise itself, the way the company did not explain the price increase, and the impending start of football (which cable is highly convenient for), has made us decide to drop Netflix and get cable again. The expectation is we will keep cable at least through January/the BCS games, and then decide exactly what we want to do. We should have a little wee one then, and we are not entirely sure how that will play out in terms of TV usage. On one hand, DH and I agree that we want to significantly cut back our our media usage when baby arrives (TV and internet crap) - not overexpose them to it, not rely on it, and when they get older, limit their use. On the other hand, we fully recognize that a TV may be our best friend when it is 2am and we are up with a nursing or screaming infant, trying to keep ourselves awake - and that cable will be much more effective at this than broadcast that goes dead at night. So... wait and see wait and see... our mantra on SO many things.
I am clearly in a talkative mood today!! So why not keep it going. Want to hear about my crazy/creepy dream last night? I have spoken to a few people who have "movie" dreams - so I know they are not uncommon, but I am not sure if EVERYONE has them or not. Probably not. What I mean by movie dreams is dreams where you are in a movie - either a character or actor - and are aware of it, but still are experiencing the emotions and realistic feelings of the story itself - or maybe you switch between being a character and an audience member, or a character and a director, or anything like that. This was a movie dream. I dreamt I was in a store talking to the store owner, like a little convenience store. He asked me how things were going and I told him that things were good, that I was going to be in the 3rd Batman movie, and infact my plotline started as soon as I left this store. He seemed very concerned about tis and asked me what role I had and how my plotline went. I told him I did not know how it went exactly, but I was not worried because this was the third movie in a trilogy so I thought there must be a happy ending. He still seemed worried, wanted details on where I was going to start my plotline, what I knew about my role, etc. I gave him what info I had, he just seemed so suspicious, but I thought he was being paranoid. I eventually left the store and walked the block or two to my house where my plot started. I was supposed to go home and meet my husband for a nice datenight in. (Not real DH, a character husband). I went in to the house and something was clearly wrong. All the sudden gunmen appeared holding hubby hostage, and they took me hostage. They were clearly waiting for something, discussing amongst themselves what to do. Hubby and I were crouched in a corner trying not to cause problems. I was afraid, but still felt like things would turn out OK. I thought Batman would break in and rescue us, or perhaps the guy from the store that had been so concerned was actually a hero character. But no one came. The gunmen decided I needed to do something, like call the bank to transfer money or something? Or call the police to try and get batman to come? I am not entirely sure. They took me into the kitchen to make the call. When I came back to the front room, my hubby was hanging dead from the ceiling fan, they had killed him. I freaked out, it was unreal. I did not believe it was happening and tried to get him down, tried to beat up the gunmen, etc. I was yelling at them and too myself that this is not how my plotline went, that it couldn't be. Then all the sudden something clicked in my head and I realized I was not the protagonist of the movie, I was the bad guy. I was catwoman, and this was the little clip at the beginning of the movie that showed how I got to be so hateful and evil. That I was already blaming Batman for my husbands death because he HADNT showed up to save us. I could feel myself turning evil, and I knew there would be no happy ending. Then I woke up. Fun Stuff. For the record- there is a third Batman movie coming out soon, but I don't know how soon. It is the third in the trilogy they are doing, and it does have catwoman in it. That is about all I know about it, so its weird I had such a strange dream. I really don't know what the plot will be and the character of catwoman has always confused me (she just does not seem that evil?). I have not been reading/seeing ads for the new movie and have not thought about it in months, so I have no idea what brought it up. It will be interesting to see when the movie comes out if they do any sort of background for her. Also of interest - this bizarre dream, like earlier mentioned reading issues, is not a product of pregnancy. I know that people have vivid dreams during pregnancy - but really this dream was well within the normal paramaters of what my dreams are like.
While we are talking about dreams, this is actually the second dream of note I have had this week. On Saturday or Sunday night I dreamed that DH got a promotion at work, that he replaced someone above him whose job he was already doing - we were both very excited about it and I was proud. He was a bit worried about the additional stress, but we were both excited about the pay raise. This dream came without obvious prompting. Once again, promotion was not something we had talked about for months and I can't identify a clear trigger. In this case, however, it seems there MUST have been a trigger for it, because on Tuesday DH found out he is getting a promotion! While it won't be to replace someone as in the dream, it will make him so he is getting paid the same ammount as the other people on his team who do the same type of work. Premonition? Possible, but I don't really believe in them for such matters. More likely he did mention in passing something about his annual review coming up or whatever and my imagination did the rest. The point is - congrats DH!!! combine that w/my impending "step up" raise at work and things are looking good for little turtle to come (financially).
Is that enough rambling for one day? I think so. See you some other day...
I am now officially reading War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy - the biggest book on my "read before the baby comes" list that I previously posted. The copy I have is 1455 pages long, which is about average I believe. I am on page 122 - which is both significant in that I am not even 10% of the way through, and that it took me this long to really get into it. The writing is extremely theatrical in nature/narration style. Most of the time, instead of stating what a character is feeling or thinking, Tolstoy describes some physical appearance or characteristic that is a "tell" as to how they are feeling, almost like it is a play and he is describing how the actor should portray the character. I do look forward to continuing it. The story itself is supposed to be of epic proportion - concerning the invasion of Napolean into Russia, but right now it is just your standard society scheming and plotting, courtship and inheritance, sex and death. I do look forward to continuing it and am definitely feeling like I can make it through, which I really did not feel like was an option 1-2 months ago. Therefore, I think my inability to read anything serious in the past couple of months was related to my own psyche - the chaos of friends leaving, stress at work, summer business, and not to pregnancy brain.
DH and I got cable back! They came and reinstalled basic cable for us on Tuesday morning. In the next week or so I will cancel our Netflix. I don't know if I have discussed this decision on here or not. You may or may not know that Netflix announced a significant price increase to take effect Sept 1st. Basically they are going from packages that combine DVD and streaming services to seperate packages for each, that cost the same as what we are currently paying for both. So in other words, we currently pay $9.99 for DVD and streaming service. If we wanted to continue getting the same service we would have to pay $7.99 for the DVDs and $7.99 for streaming, for an overall price of $15.98, a 60% price increase. My response to this was two-sided. The rational/calculating side of me recognized that we almost NEVER use the DVD service and we would probably wouldn't even miss it if we just switched to streaming and continued using Netflix. The less calculating side of me was pissed off big time. A company that's service is totally entertainment can't just raise their prices 60% and expect their not to be a backlash. And in this case, they gave no real justification for the price range - and denied most of the justifications provided by the media (expense increases etc). I felt like the company was being totally scheming and not being honest with its customers. SO, in short. The combination of the price raise itself, the way the company did not explain the price increase, and the impending start of football (which cable is highly convenient for), has made us decide to drop Netflix and get cable again. The expectation is we will keep cable at least through January/the BCS games, and then decide exactly what we want to do. We should have a little wee one then, and we are not entirely sure how that will play out in terms of TV usage. On one hand, DH and I agree that we want to significantly cut back our our media usage when baby arrives (TV and internet crap) - not overexpose them to it, not rely on it, and when they get older, limit their use. On the other hand, we fully recognize that a TV may be our best friend when it is 2am and we are up with a nursing or screaming infant, trying to keep ourselves awake - and that cable will be much more effective at this than broadcast that goes dead at night. So... wait and see wait and see... our mantra on SO many things.
I am clearly in a talkative mood today!! So why not keep it going. Want to hear about my crazy/creepy dream last night? I have spoken to a few people who have "movie" dreams - so I know they are not uncommon, but I am not sure if EVERYONE has them or not. Probably not. What I mean by movie dreams is dreams where you are in a movie - either a character or actor - and are aware of it, but still are experiencing the emotions and realistic feelings of the story itself - or maybe you switch between being a character and an audience member, or a character and a director, or anything like that. This was a movie dream. I dreamt I was in a store talking to the store owner, like a little convenience store. He asked me how things were going and I told him that things were good, that I was going to be in the 3rd Batman movie, and infact my plotline started as soon as I left this store. He seemed very concerned about tis and asked me what role I had and how my plotline went. I told him I did not know how it went exactly, but I was not worried because this was the third movie in a trilogy so I thought there must be a happy ending. He still seemed worried, wanted details on where I was going to start my plotline, what I knew about my role, etc. I gave him what info I had, he just seemed so suspicious, but I thought he was being paranoid. I eventually left the store and walked the block or two to my house where my plot started. I was supposed to go home and meet my husband for a nice datenight in. (Not real DH, a character husband). I went in to the house and something was clearly wrong. All the sudden gunmen appeared holding hubby hostage, and they took me hostage. They were clearly waiting for something, discussing amongst themselves what to do. Hubby and I were crouched in a corner trying not to cause problems. I was afraid, but still felt like things would turn out OK. I thought Batman would break in and rescue us, or perhaps the guy from the store that had been so concerned was actually a hero character. But no one came. The gunmen decided I needed to do something, like call the bank to transfer money or something? Or call the police to try and get batman to come? I am not entirely sure. They took me into the kitchen to make the call. When I came back to the front room, my hubby was hanging dead from the ceiling fan, they had killed him. I freaked out, it was unreal. I did not believe it was happening and tried to get him down, tried to beat up the gunmen, etc. I was yelling at them and too myself that this is not how my plotline went, that it couldn't be. Then all the sudden something clicked in my head and I realized I was not the protagonist of the movie, I was the bad guy. I was catwoman, and this was the little clip at the beginning of the movie that showed how I got to be so hateful and evil. That I was already blaming Batman for my husbands death because he HADNT showed up to save us. I could feel myself turning evil, and I knew there would be no happy ending. Then I woke up. Fun Stuff. For the record- there is a third Batman movie coming out soon, but I don't know how soon. It is the third in the trilogy they are doing, and it does have catwoman in it. That is about all I know about it, so its weird I had such a strange dream. I really don't know what the plot will be and the character of catwoman has always confused me (she just does not seem that evil?). I have not been reading/seeing ads for the new movie and have not thought about it in months, so I have no idea what brought it up. It will be interesting to see when the movie comes out if they do any sort of background for her. Also of interest - this bizarre dream, like earlier mentioned reading issues, is not a product of pregnancy. I know that people have vivid dreams during pregnancy - but really this dream was well within the normal paramaters of what my dreams are like.
While we are talking about dreams, this is actually the second dream of note I have had this week. On Saturday or Sunday night I dreamed that DH got a promotion at work, that he replaced someone above him whose job he was already doing - we were both very excited about it and I was proud. He was a bit worried about the additional stress, but we were both excited about the pay raise. This dream came without obvious prompting. Once again, promotion was not something we had talked about for months and I can't identify a clear trigger. In this case, however, it seems there MUST have been a trigger for it, because on Tuesday DH found out he is getting a promotion! While it won't be to replace someone as in the dream, it will make him so he is getting paid the same ammount as the other people on his team who do the same type of work. Premonition? Possible, but I don't really believe in them for such matters. More likely he did mention in passing something about his annual review coming up or whatever and my imagination did the rest. The point is - congrats DH!!! combine that w/my impending "step up" raise at work and things are looking good for little turtle to come (financially).
Is that enough rambling for one day? I think so. See you some other day...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Work Changes
There are a lot of changes happening at work. The one that is the most talked about at the moment is a new dress code. People are furious about it. Me, well, I am not excited about it, but its not a big surprise. How can it be a surprise that the new director does not like people running around in sweats and pajamas and various outfits more suitable for clubbing than for work? Granted, our work is incredibly solitary. If I chose, I could go almost all day w/out speaking to anyone at the office. I used to actually have days like that before I made friends - 8 hrs and not even a sentence exchanged with my coworkers. Anyways, people dress badly. I feel like other people abuse the lack of dress code, and I am sure there are people who feel like I abuse it, by for example wearing jeans that have worn or torn cuffs on the bottom.
When they issued the dress code it upset me because the way it was being handled. A week ago Friday (now 11 days ago), we were sat down and told that there was a dress code coming out for Monday. We were given nothing in writing and told it would start immediately. I was very annoyed that we had nothing in writing and that it was being treated so secretively, so top down. I was upset that the new director had not issued any sort of statements as to the goals he is pursuing for the agency or the purpose of the policy change. It came off as a power trip and very passive aggressive. But, the code itself really is not that big of deal for me. I have been pretty much wearing all business casual tops since I started here and its not hard to switch from jeans to khaki's/dress pants.
As it turns out, the messy implementation got better. Apparently not all units had been informed of the same rapidity of change and the dress code actually didn't start on Monday. Now we have a written code that is less severe than they originally projected and the new director has "conceded" casual Fridays. We also have a set implementation date and no more of this confusing crap. So, in my opinion, while it was handled very poorly over the last couple of weeks. it is now sorted out and my worries and complaints have been largely addressed.
This is not true of my coworkers. Their complaints seem to be of the "I hate change" and the "I want to wear anything I feel like!" variety. I had one coworker say "What I really hate about it is that it doesn't even give you an option of dressing down, like what if I am having a bad day or cramps and just want to wear sweats???". Um. This is the point of a dress code. To not give you the option of looking like sh*t. Today they were complaining about the rule that leggings are only appropriate if the sweater/shirt over them reaches w/in 4 inches of the knee. A girl was wearing a cute outfit w/leggings, boots, and a long sweater that will not fit the dress code and the three of my unit-mates were saying "that is totally work appropriate! Why shouldn't she wear it?" Granted, it was very cute, but I am not sure where they are getting their perception of work appropriate from. Would she wear that to a job interview? To an important meeting? Would she wear it if she were giving a presentation? I doubt it.
Anyways. The dress code officially begins on 3/28 now. They have pushed back the implementation and done away with the grace period, as it was obvious people were planning to ignore the code until the grace period was over anyways. There are also people at my office who think they are being all rebellious and genius by planning a "protest" in the form of wearing all black the first day of the dress code. First, why on earth would the new administration notice or care? Second, its incredibly juvenile, "Look at us! We are all sulky that you put a new dress code, but too afraid to break it!!". And there are people who are uber-naive and think that actions like this will "run the new director out real quick". Of course, this is the same person who told us in all seriousness that she does not support cancer research because cancer has actually been cured already and its just a big conspiracy so that drug companies can make money. Right.
So that's the dress code. I am pretty much planning to start following it now. I have been already for the last week. Starting now will give me a chance to fill in any problems with my wardrobe before it is actually implemented. I already figured out I needed new brown dress shows and new socks.
Other changes? They are studying the cost effectiveness of overtime, so I will be working a lot less of it in March and maybe April. This is sad because I was enjoying all the extra money, but its also nice because it means I will actually be working 7am-3:30pm starting next week, and I think I will feel like I have so much more free time to work towards some of my new years resolutions and get some projects done.
There are other little, internal type changes which would take way to much energy to explain. Suffice it to say people are bitching about those changes nonsensically as well, despite how minor they are.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Unexplained Blahs, and a Rant
Despite plenty of good things, I have just been sort of blah for the last few days. The plenty of good things include:
- Going out to dinner on Friday and then to see Chicago (the musical) - the off broadway production. I have seen a lot of musicals, mostly movie versions though. I have been to a few live, but never professional (school and college productions, community theater productions, etc). It was cool to see a professional one, it was a lot of fun. This was my belated birthday present and celebration and it was nice to have a night out with the hubby without him worrying about work. (He has been on call almost non-stop due to a combination of it being the end of the fiscal year and us having lots of July plans that he is saving up time NOT on call for).
- Singing on the Rain on the big screen at CAPA Classic Movie Series on Saturday night
- Spent an hour Saturday, and hour Sunday reading in a coffee shop (caribou coffee, my favorite)
- spoke with my family a lot
- I was actually productive on Saturday, got lots of little housework related things done
- had a very efficient and pleasant shopping trip for some small errands on Sunday
Despite all of these nice things, I am just in a bad mood. I have tried a hot bath, a latte, bad television (watched Transformer's last night on TNT, it was horrible!), a massage (thanks DH), productivity, reading. Nothing has kicked it yet. Have to give something else a try tonight. Any ideas?
Now for the "and a rant" section. Saturday night -Singing in the Rain - lots of fun. We were supposed to go out to dinner afterwards. It was like running my head into a brick wall. Here is how the conversation went:
Us (DH and I) vs Them
Them: Why don't we go to Elevator or O'Shaunessey's
Us: Great! We can walk over there!
Them: We don't want to leave the car. Why would we walk?
Us: There is not much parking up there. I wouldnt know where to park up there.
Them: We don't want to leave the car, I am sure there will be parking, there is always parking.
Us: Why don't you park in DH's garage, it is closer and no worries about getting out afterwards.
Them: Oh we don't want to mess with your garage. Why don't you two walk and we will meet you up there, just pick a resteraunt and call us, they are right next to each other.
Us: No, they are not right next to each other.
Them: I am pretty sure they are, atleast in the same block. How far apart do you think they are?
Us: no, they are not in the same block, I am not positive about the location of the elavator but its not realy in the arena district, whereas O'Shaunessey's is.
Them: I am sure they are really close to one another, like no more than a block apart.
Us: We will go to o'shaunessey's and get a table
-We part ways. DH and I walk the 7-8 blocks to the Arena District. O'Shaunessey's is about 4 blocks from the Elevator we discover. We get a table. DH orders a drink. We get a call. They can't find parking. They want us to leave and go somewhere not downtown. We have to tell the waitress we are leaving and I feel very rude, and very pissed. I have the strong urge to shout "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!" but we don't. We go eat dinner at Cap City Diner. It is subdued and slightly awkward. Then we go home.
I enjoy these CAPA movies a lot, but the logistics have been a nightmare. We are supposed to do another on July 1st, and I swear if the others don't agree to meet and walk the whole way, to the movie and dinner, I am not going.
The end.
- Going out to dinner on Friday and then to see Chicago (the musical) - the off broadway production. I have seen a lot of musicals, mostly movie versions though. I have been to a few live, but never professional (school and college productions, community theater productions, etc). It was cool to see a professional one, it was a lot of fun. This was my belated birthday present and celebration and it was nice to have a night out with the hubby without him worrying about work. (He has been on call almost non-stop due to a combination of it being the end of the fiscal year and us having lots of July plans that he is saving up time NOT on call for).
- Singing on the Rain on the big screen at CAPA Classic Movie Series on Saturday night
- Spent an hour Saturday, and hour Sunday reading in a coffee shop (caribou coffee, my favorite)
- spoke with my family a lot
- I was actually productive on Saturday, got lots of little housework related things done
- had a very efficient and pleasant shopping trip for some small errands on Sunday
Despite all of these nice things, I am just in a bad mood. I have tried a hot bath, a latte, bad television (watched Transformer's last night on TNT, it was horrible!), a massage (thanks DH), productivity, reading. Nothing has kicked it yet. Have to give something else a try tonight. Any ideas?
Now for the "and a rant" section. Saturday night -Singing in the Rain - lots of fun. We were supposed to go out to dinner afterwards. It was like running my head into a brick wall. Here is how the conversation went:
Us (DH and I) vs Them
Them: Why don't we go to Elevator or O'Shaunessey's
Us: Great! We can walk over there!
Them: We don't want to leave the car. Why would we walk?
Us: There is not much parking up there. I wouldnt know where to park up there.
Them: We don't want to leave the car, I am sure there will be parking, there is always parking.
Us: Why don't you park in DH's garage, it is closer and no worries about getting out afterwards.
Them: Oh we don't want to mess with your garage. Why don't you two walk and we will meet you up there, just pick a resteraunt and call us, they are right next to each other.
Us: No, they are not right next to each other.
Them: I am pretty sure they are, atleast in the same block. How far apart do you think they are?
Us: no, they are not in the same block, I am not positive about the location of the elavator but its not realy in the arena district, whereas O'Shaunessey's is.
Them: I am sure they are really close to one another, like no more than a block apart.
Us: We will go to o'shaunessey's and get a table
-We part ways. DH and I walk the 7-8 blocks to the Arena District. O'Shaunessey's is about 4 blocks from the Elevator we discover. We get a table. DH orders a drink. We get a call. They can't find parking. They want us to leave and go somewhere not downtown. We have to tell the waitress we are leaving and I feel very rude, and very pissed. I have the strong urge to shout "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!" but we don't. We go eat dinner at Cap City Diner. It is subdued and slightly awkward. Then we go home.
I enjoy these CAPA movies a lot, but the logistics have been a nightmare. We are supposed to do another on July 1st, and I swear if the others don't agree to meet and walk the whole way, to the movie and dinner, I am not going.
The end.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
(Ir)rational Fears
Put this as pet peeve #423 of mine (on second thought, maybe I should actually count these and give them real numbers.... not just made up high numbers) - anyways - pet peeve = irrational fears, or more specifically, the culture of fear.
Everyone has fears, fear is entirely natural. Its evolutionary purpose is to protect us - keep us from doing things that may hurt us and keep us on our toes in dangerous situations. Heights, spiders, snakes, tightly closed spaces - these common fears today are all things that would have supposed a risk to an early primitive human. We are wired to be afraid of certain things. At some point, these fears become irrational and prevent us from living rather than protecting us from dying.
In present day, we are unindated constantly with things we should be afraid of. Industries take advantage of this evolutionary trait to make profit - in money and power- for themselves. The biggest culprits: politics (of course), the home security industry, the gun industry. They have us thinking that the terrorists are coming tomorrow, the economy will never recover if the opposite party wins, house guests return after leaving to smash in windows, and we are safer if we have a gun. Ignore the fact that the probability of ANY of these things happening is less likely than the probability of tripping over my own feet and knocking my front teeth out (OK, this probability might be slightly higher for me than many).
This post was meant to be much more eloquent when I was planning it in my head, but an angry rant will have to do.
Announcement to the world!!
Everyone has fears, fear is entirely natural. Its evolutionary purpose is to protect us - keep us from doing things that may hurt us and keep us on our toes in dangerous situations. Heights, spiders, snakes, tightly closed spaces - these common fears today are all things that would have supposed a risk to an early primitive human. We are wired to be afraid of certain things. At some point, these fears become irrational and prevent us from living rather than protecting us from dying.
In present day, we are unindated constantly with things we should be afraid of. Industries take advantage of this evolutionary trait to make profit - in money and power- for themselves. The biggest culprits: politics (of course), the home security industry, the gun industry. They have us thinking that the terrorists are coming tomorrow, the economy will never recover if the opposite party wins, house guests return after leaving to smash in windows, and we are safer if we have a gun. Ignore the fact that the probability of ANY of these things happening is less likely than the probability of tripping over my own feet and knocking my front teeth out (OK, this probability might be slightly higher for me than many).
This post was meant to be much more eloquent when I was planning it in my head, but an angry rant will have to do.
Announcement to the world!!
There will be terrorist attacks or acts of war in the future no matter what we do. That is just the way of the world. Barring the downfall of the entire world order, the American economy will recover. Having the other party in power for a while is not the ruin of the country, even if it feels like that when you are all worked up. The probability of you being a victim of a violent crime is miniscule, and having a gun around does not really change this probability - might even increase it depending on what statistics you read. Having a home security system is irrational and a waste of money - both yours and tax payers when cops show up for false alarms. Strangers will not sneak into your garage when your husband pulls his car out to come up and attack you. The chances of your kid being kidnapped by a stranger are so ridiculously small, they are more likely to die by you crashing your car or a household accident.
So, be rational, argue your political points without panic, own a gun for sport if you want, but not protection, put your energy and money and efforts into having a safe car and a safe house and maintaining a healthy lifestyle rather than worrying about what random strangers are going to do. If you are afraid of strangers, establish relationships in all your realms - your neighborhood, the area you work in, these people will be a much better security system for you than any electronic gadget. Most importantly, STOP being scared of everything!
Of course I have irrational fears too, we all do. I am terrified that a tornado will kill me. But, there is nothing I can do about it, so I try not to freak out and just pay more attention when there is a storm warning. Most the time when I get on a plane I am convinced we will crash, but I know that its irrational to feel that its no more dangerous than a car, so I fly anyways. I think that if I ride in a car without a seatbelt I will die in a preventable way. I think if I ride a bike without a helmet I will die in a preventable way (thanks mom and dad for these particular fears...). I am convinced everyone who rides a motorcycle sooner or later crashes and dies (also thanks Mom I think). I guess everyone has fears. I just wish people would stop wasting energy and money, stop giving power to crazies, just because they are told to be afraid.
Uh.. Rant over. LOL.Friday, January 29, 2010
Health Care Reform
Have I posted about this before? I am not sure. Even if I have, it is certainly worth posting about and its certainly worth being my 300th post.
I am currently reading Hillary Rodham Clinton's autobiography. It is not that well written (I am sure a ghost writer wrote it, and they should have chosen someone else), but it is interesting. One of the things that is most interesting to me at the moment is her reflections on her attempts to reform health care in 1993/1994. It is de ja vu all over again, so to speak. The Clinton plan was similar to the Obama plan in that they wanted to create a minium ammt of coverage, standards for policies, and then within the confines of that standard, allow market competition. Like Obama's plan, it was designed to improve insurance and reduce costs for those currently insured, guarentee coverage of preexisting conditions and prevent people from losing insurance because they changed jobs. It was also designed to get more low income American's onto insurance plans.
Needless to say, they were unable to get it past. The resemblance in their efforts is striking - large interest groups working against them, putting misinformation into the media both via direct commercial and just quotable quotes. The Clinton's stopped trying to reform health care after 2 yrs of fighting for it because it had become an impossible mission given the environment created by the Republicans and special interest groups. She ends her discussion of it with this quote, which I find eerily relevant to the current situation - "Ultimately, we could never convince the vast majority of Americans who have health insurance that they wouldn't have to give up benefits and medical choices to help the minority of Americans without coverage. Nor could we persuade them that reform would protect them from losing insurance and would make their medical care more affordable in the future." I sincerely hope that this does not happen with the current attempts at reform. As President Obama said in his state of the Union last week, the budget office estimates the current health reform package will reduce the deficit. The current proposal get health care to a lot of Americans that do not have it. It will reduce the ability of insurance companies to make decisions about our lives, and reduce medical costs that have gotten ridiculously high. Unfortunately, these are not the messages that are getting across.
I don't even know how to end this blog post. Every day I encounter reasons that we need to reform health care. Every day I speak with claimants who are not receiving treatment or not taking needed medication because they cannot afford it. Some of these people are people who had a one-time lack of money alter their ability to work for the rest of their lives (for example, a man who broke his arm and received sub-standard care due to his lack of ability to pay and now has limited use of that arm). Some of these people are people who could be functioning members of society if they could afford the drug that keeps their brain chemistry balanced. Others are putting their lives at risk every day by not taking insulin because they do not have coverage.
Here is what I want. I want health care reform. I want people who are against health care reform to accept the moral implications that position holds, and stop pretending that there are no moral implications. I hope I get at least one of these wishes.
I am currently reading Hillary Rodham Clinton's autobiography. It is not that well written (I am sure a ghost writer wrote it, and they should have chosen someone else), but it is interesting. One of the things that is most interesting to me at the moment is her reflections on her attempts to reform health care in 1993/1994. It is de ja vu all over again, so to speak. The Clinton plan was similar to the Obama plan in that they wanted to create a minium ammt of coverage, standards for policies, and then within the confines of that standard, allow market competition. Like Obama's plan, it was designed to improve insurance and reduce costs for those currently insured, guarentee coverage of preexisting conditions and prevent people from losing insurance because they changed jobs. It was also designed to get more low income American's onto insurance plans.
Needless to say, they were unable to get it past. The resemblance in their efforts is striking - large interest groups working against them, putting misinformation into the media both via direct commercial and just quotable quotes. The Clinton's stopped trying to reform health care after 2 yrs of fighting for it because it had become an impossible mission given the environment created by the Republicans and special interest groups. She ends her discussion of it with this quote, which I find eerily relevant to the current situation - "Ultimately, we could never convince the vast majority of Americans who have health insurance that they wouldn't have to give up benefits and medical choices to help the minority of Americans without coverage. Nor could we persuade them that reform would protect them from losing insurance and would make their medical care more affordable in the future." I sincerely hope that this does not happen with the current attempts at reform. As President Obama said in his state of the Union last week, the budget office estimates the current health reform package will reduce the deficit. The current proposal get health care to a lot of Americans that do not have it. It will reduce the ability of insurance companies to make decisions about our lives, and reduce medical costs that have gotten ridiculously high. Unfortunately, these are not the messages that are getting across.
I don't even know how to end this blog post. Every day I encounter reasons that we need to reform health care. Every day I speak with claimants who are not receiving treatment or not taking needed medication because they cannot afford it. Some of these people are people who had a one-time lack of money alter their ability to work for the rest of their lives (for example, a man who broke his arm and received sub-standard care due to his lack of ability to pay and now has limited use of that arm). Some of these people are people who could be functioning members of society if they could afford the drug that keeps their brain chemistry balanced. Others are putting their lives at risk every day by not taking insulin because they do not have coverage.
Here is what I want. I want health care reform. I want people who are against health care reform to accept the moral implications that position holds, and stop pretending that there are no moral implications. I hope I get at least one of these wishes.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Petty Vent
It appears by being gone for ten days I forfeit all rights to see my friends or host anything for New Years and Bowl games :-(
Thats not entirely true. I was going to host New Years Eve, then DH told me he wanted to host the game. I told my friends M&R this, so R decided to host New Years Eve so I was free to host the next night. Then I come to find out that there is already a get together that M new about, meaning no one is available. Why on earth M did not tell me that, I don't know. Probably because we are not officially invited to the get together. It still would have been nice to know, and I am not sure whether the lack of invitation is because they actually don't want to invite us or because they assume we will manage to get some people for our own party. Which we won't. Either way, I am feeling really petty and left out at the moment.
This too shall pass. I just needed to get it out of my system, but now its out, and thats good because pettiness is no way to end (or start) a year.
Thats not entirely true. I was going to host New Years Eve, then DH told me he wanted to host the game. I told my friends M&R this, so R decided to host New Years Eve so I was free to host the next night. Then I come to find out that there is already a get together that M new about, meaning no one is available. Why on earth M did not tell me that, I don't know. Probably because we are not officially invited to the get together. It still would have been nice to know, and I am not sure whether the lack of invitation is because they actually don't want to invite us or because they assume we will manage to get some people for our own party. Which we won't. Either way, I am feeling really petty and left out at the moment.
This too shall pass. I just needed to get it out of my system, but now its out, and thats good because pettiness is no way to end (or start) a year.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Back to the ... ?
I was going to title this post "back to the grind", but really its not the grind. I also considered "back to normal", but that implies that what I am returning from is bad, which is not the case. So... lets just say I am getting back.
My friend ended up spending almost two weeks here. It was sort of like being in suspended animation, in a good way. I did not worry about all the stuff I normally do, I did not plan for future stuff (like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc), and likewise I did not worry about future stuff. What I did do was go to work everday, come home, figure out dinner, and hang out with an old friend. We haven't spent two weeks together in almost 10 years. It was nice.
Last night I dropped her off at the bus station so she could begin her 36 hour journey back to England. She originally did not plan to stay at my house for two weeks (she was hoping for more like 5 days), but that is how life is sometimes. The embassy sent her passport to the wrong address, and then UPS screwed up badly and failed to get it to the right address after she paid a lot to have it come a certain day. They also refused to refund any of her money, and made her go out of the way to make sure she got it the next day (a day late per their own policy). I am posting this because I would mind a negative buzz about UPS. What company won't refund a customer's money when the company utterly fails? A bad one!!
Over the past weekend we went out to drinks with friends, went hiking, tried to go to three resteraunts that had permanently shut down, went to coffee with friends, watched some football (go Vikings!) and went to my Grandma's house. Other than that, there have been more movies (Bogeyman, The Mist, StarTrek), more reading of Inkheart. Today is my last day of training at work, tomorrow we move. Wish me luck!!
My friend ended up spending almost two weeks here. It was sort of like being in suspended animation, in a good way. I did not worry about all the stuff I normally do, I did not plan for future stuff (like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc), and likewise I did not worry about future stuff. What I did do was go to work everday, come home, figure out dinner, and hang out with an old friend. We haven't spent two weeks together in almost 10 years. It was nice.
Last night I dropped her off at the bus station so she could begin her 36 hour journey back to England. She originally did not plan to stay at my house for two weeks (she was hoping for more like 5 days), but that is how life is sometimes. The embassy sent her passport to the wrong address, and then UPS screwed up badly and failed to get it to the right address after she paid a lot to have it come a certain day. They also refused to refund any of her money, and made her go out of the way to make sure she got it the next day (a day late per their own policy). I am posting this because I would mind a negative buzz about UPS. What company won't refund a customer's money when the company utterly fails? A bad one!!
Over the past weekend we went out to drinks with friends, went hiking, tried to go to three resteraunts that had permanently shut down, went to coffee with friends, watched some football (go Vikings!) and went to my Grandma's house. Other than that, there have been more movies (Bogeyman, The Mist, StarTrek), more reading of Inkheart. Today is my last day of training at work, tomorrow we move. Wish me luck!!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
The Fall-Over Woman (inspired by The Bookthief)
In this post:
A Definition
The Strawberry Cheesecake
Sweet Revenge
A Forgotten Book
350 Degrees
1870
The Fist Fight
Another Season Ends
A Sick Cat
Other Cuts and Bruises
The Half Blood Prince Rewind
The Next Book
Disturbing Dreams
A Definition
Klutz (noun, slang) -
Strawberry Cheesecake
On a windy day with a sea-colored sky Amanda made her way up to her Grandma's house. As was her duty, she brought all the ingredients and tools necessary to make a yummy dessert: in this case, a strawberry cheesecake. She arrived to the smell of old flowers and forgetfulness, and immediately set to her work. Within a half hour the cheesecake batter was mixed, the strawberries were pureed, and all necessary ingredients had made it into a graham cracker crust and into the oven.
Sweet Revenge
The cake taken care of, Amanda set to cleaning up the mess she had created. Bowls were licked and rinsed out, beaters washed, counters wiped, until only the food processor remained. Amanda set about the task carefully, wary of the sharp, curved blades. Soon, the main body of the machine was cleaned out and only the blade, fixed stubbornly to its pivot, remained. Amanda carefully grasped the dull side of the blade and pulled. With a sweet sound of revenge, the razor-sharp blade slipped and cut into Amanda's finger. She swore under her breath and dropped it in the sink, squeezing her bleeding finger in her fist. The blood was red like fruit punch and anger. Upon further examination, it seemed to be just a nick, on the inside of the top joint of her finger, where the skin wrinkles and puckers to bend.
A Forgotten Book
Not long after the food processor took its revenge for unknown offenses, Amanda's uncle, a tall man with a bald head and rusty ponytail, her aunt, a women with bouncy brown hair who smelled of stress, and cousin, a athletic girl of 21 years, arrived and set about their own duties. The room gradually filled with the sweet scent of strawberries and cream. Amanda found a book sitting on the counter. It was a book called Touching Darkness (Midnighters Volume 2). She had left it there the last week, the book forgotten in her rush to get home. She picked it up with excitement, and exclaimed that she has been looking for it.
"Is that yours?" Her grandma asked.
"Yes! I forgot it here," Amanda replied excitedly.
"Oh, I started reading that," Grandma replied, a sound of slight confusion, perhaps fear the book would disappear, in her voice.
Grandma read a book about teenagers who experience an extra hour every night well everyone else freezes? Amanda never would have picked it for her, but if she wanted to read it then she was more than welcome to.
"Oh! Then I can finish it while I am here today and leave it for you." The words came to Amanda readily and poured into the shared air, an invitation to enjoy a fantasy world.
Grandma smiled.
350 Degrees
Forty pages later, and the cheesecake was done. Amanda opened the oven door. 350 degrees of heat and hard work poured out, along with the mouthwatering smell of success. Amanda slipped on hot pads and pulled out the cookie sheet, balancing the cheesecake carefully. The pans seemed so hot, they seemed to try and burn right through the hot pads. She rushed it carefully out to the garage and slid the pie pan onto a cooling rack which had been carefully laid out for her by her uncle, but there was no where to set the cookie sheet. She started to ask her uncle where to lay it out, but the pan bit her with hot teeth through the hot pads and she decided to just set it down. Her uncle however caught her request with eager ears and began to give instruction.
"Just wait a minute, let me pull out another rack," he sputtered. Amanda was frustrated. The pan was so hot! But she waited. She shifted the cookie sheet around this way and that, moving her hands in the hot pads to keep them from sizzling. Then, in her haste, the cookie sheet slipped and with a sharp pain slid against her forearm, leaving a 4-inch long red line, a needle-thin raised blister on the skin. Amanda cursed, out loud this time, and set the pan down on the garage floor, running inside seeking a cool reprieve from the burnt puckering of flesh. The injury had its benefits though. Uncle felt horrible and treated Amanda very kindly all evening, and as she needed to hold ice onto the injury, she was left to her reading and not asked to help with other tasks. She was able to finish her book to leave for Grandma. And, when dessert came, the cheesecake was even more delicious for the pain that had gone into making it. Amanda drove home under a chocolate sky, her belly full and the pain in her arm subsiding.
1870
Three days later, Amanda and her husband found themselves wondering what to do for dinner, and decided to join some friends for a trivia night at a nearby restaurant. The game was filled with laughter and good food. After six rounds, the game was coming to a close and Amanda's team found themselves tied with someone else. A tie-breaker question was asked. The DJ read the question slowly over the microphone.
"In what year was the first Tour de France completed?" The words hung like electric static in the air, buzzing in the ears of the competing teams, and then being matched with a buzz of whispers.
"I think we should guess sometime in the 1960s"
"Couldn't it be a lot older than that?"
"It was after WWII, right?"
Then, a voice of more confidence, the voice of Amanda's husband chimed in. "I think its A LOT older than that. I was reading about the Tour de France, and for some reason, the date 1870 is sticking in my head."
"That seems way too old"
"I don't know, when were bicycles capable of doing mountains like that?"
"I think we should go with him, always go with your gut I say"
"Lets moderate it, since we don't have to be dead on lets guess 1910," said Jeff, self appointed team leader. With anxious eyes they submitted 1910 as their answer. The date 1870, the gut feeling, hung in their air like bits of fog. The music stopped and the DJ began.
"Well, we have two very different answers here! One team chose 1970 and the other chose 1910. The actual answer is," there was a silent pause for dramatic effect, and it was filled with excited nerves.
"1903!" FYC takes the game! All the friends jumped up excitedly and patted each others backs, all except Amanda's husband. He leaned back in his chair.
"Why did I think 1870, what is that date?"
The Fist Fight
Amanda had never been in a fist fight. She still has not really, but that strange Thursday afternoon experience gave her an idea of what it might feel like. She was laying in her cinnamon colored bedroom, the TV droning in the background, when she decided to stand up. Well, she didn't just decide to stand up. She remembered suddenly that she was supposed to do something, and went to leap out of bed. Unfortunately her leap was not successful. Momentum building, she threw her feet off the bed and started to lift her body. But, her left foot landed in a laundry basket that lay hidden near the bed. The momentum was too much. Her body swayed forward. She grappled with the basket, trying to remove her leg, but to no avail. As if in slow motion, she careened forward onto the cluttered floor, the right side of her jaw meeting heavily with the edge of a waste basket. It broke apart and fell. For the third time in the week, Amanda swore, righted herself, and rushed to the bathroom. There was no purple bruise or red cut to accompany the throbbing, red pain that filled her cheek. So this, she though, is what it must be like to get punched in the jaw. Her jaw ached for two days straight, and even after that remained tender to the touch.
Another Season Ends
Despite her sore jaw, Amanda had friends over that night. They came bearing casserole and vegetables, gossip and goodwill. They shared laughter and food, and then settled down for a serious two hours of Torchwood. The episodes were serious. The air in the darkened room was filled with a black tension and smell of sadness. The second season ended. The lights were turned on but a gray, hazy mood remained. Plans were made for another get together. The guests left.
Amanda noticed, Gandalf had not disturbed them all night.
A Sick Cat
It was not like Gandalf to leave so many guests alone, especially when they were focused on the television instead of him. Amanda went looking for him, and found him in their bedroom, soft grey fur smelling of urine. He was sick again, and it was obvious this time. They vowed to take him to the vet in the morning, gating him downstairs in case he peed.
At 6am, Amanda was having a vivid dream and there was a strange noise in it, a desperate squawking call. Then, Aaron spoke and awoke her, icey fear in his voice.
"Did you here that?" he asked anxiously.
"You heard it?" Amanda replied, swirls of confusion surround her words. She thought it was in her dream.
"Yes" Aaron got up and looked in the closet. No one there. Gandalf was laying in the corner but he looked sound asleep. "I thought you put him downstairs" he said.
"I told you he can jumpy that gate" Amanda replied.
"Well maybe he isn't sick then, if he can jump a gate" Aaron said. He turned the light out.
"He certainly isn't 100%" Amanda replied and rolled over to go back to sleep.
30 seconds later the sound occurred again, but this time in their states of full consciousness, Amanda and Aaron could both discern two new things.
(1) This was an uncontrollable cry of pain.
(2) It came from Gandalf
"Yeah, he is just feeling fine," Amanda said and jumped out of bed (not landing in a laundry basket or getting in a fist fight with a trash can this time. Aaron turned on the light and she swooped up Gandalf and carried him downstairs. He laid down next to the litter box. He laid down in the litter box. He made that horrible noise. He laid down by the wall and was silent for a while. Amanda went upstairs and went to bed. 2 hours later she got up and called the vet, and had them there in a half hour. In the early morning, the veterinary hospital hadn't yet reached its full chaos. They took Gandalf into the back, and several minutes the vet came in, a concerned look on his round face.
Gandalf had a urinary tract blockage and will be in the animal hospital until at least Sunday, more likely Monday. In exchange for getting him back healthy, Amanda and her husband will have to relinquish an arm, and perhaps a leg.
Other Cuts and Bruises
On Saturday morning, Amanda got up and moving with one less cat to follow her around, one less cat to get in her face. That did not keep her from getting injured. Her injuries, after all, do not come from cats. First she noticed a unexplained red, burning cut on her leg. Then, she walked into a table, leaving a dark bruise on the top of her right arm to set off the still-red burn on the bottom. I am truly a Klutz, she thought.
The Half Blood Prince Rewind
That afternoon, under a slate grey sky spitting cool rain, Amanda met her friends at a theater. They bounced around in excitement and entered a dark, cool room, that gradually filled. The crowd smelled of popcorn and giddiness. The movie started. As predicted, it was better this time. Amanda knew what to expect, and what not to spend her energy waiting for. She allowed herself to become more involved. She noticed the intricacies of the good performances. The movie ended, the lights came one. The giddiness was replaced by a sense of urgency in the dull light as people rushed to leave.
The critique began immediately, comparing notes. What were they happy with? What disappointed them. Amanda joined in readily, but was shocked by some of the commentary - not in its insults but in its ignorance. She filled some gaps, then came the comment:
"I am really annoyed they are turning book 7 into two movies," a friend said.
"I am not! I hope it means they won't butcher it as much as they did this one!" Amanda replied, pink with surprise.
"But how much time are they having between releases?" the friend asked.
"I don't care, there is so much in that book, it needs to movies."
"As far as I can tell, the first half of the book is mainly them wandering around wondering what to do" the friend said. Her voice cool with insult.
"I think you should reread it if that's what you think" Amanda replied, the pink surprise tinging into a red frustration.
"I have reread it, and I ended up skipping a lot".
A variety of words in various combinations danced in Amanda's mouth. Most of them explained what happened in the seventh book, and why it was two movies worth, some of them expressing frustration or anger, some of them turning to other topics that had the same bitter taste. None of the words were said, as her friends changed the topic.
The Next Book
The evening, Amanda lay, wrapped in her mocha bed quilt, reading a new book. Never Let Me Go. It left her with a sense of unease as she switched off the light and lowered herself into the black blanket of sleep.
Disturbing Dreams
Amanda awoke with a start at 4am, though this time it was no cat. The room was hazy gray. Her thoughts were swirling madness in the nighttime. Her teeth ran over her front tooth, and then her finger. There was a small indentation there. She knew it had been their awhile. What if it broke off? This sudden visualization lead to a deeper, darker feeling. What if it broke off? She would spend the rest of her life with no front tooth, or an implant. That would be part of her story, her only story. The totality of the brevity of life slipped over her and she curled up next to her husband. She wished it was a dream. At least if it was, she would be asleep and not stuck awake so early in the morning, words keeping her awake with their noise.
A Definition
The Strawberry Cheesecake
Sweet Revenge
A Forgotten Book
350 Degrees
1870
The Fist Fight
Another Season Ends
A Sick Cat
Other Cuts and Bruises
The Half Blood Prince Rewind
The Next Book
Disturbing Dreams
A Definition
Klutz (noun, slang) -
- A clumsy person.
- A stupid person; a dolt.
Strawberry Cheesecake
On a windy day with a sea-colored sky Amanda made her way up to her Grandma's house. As was her duty, she brought all the ingredients and tools necessary to make a yummy dessert: in this case, a strawberry cheesecake. She arrived to the smell of old flowers and forgetfulness, and immediately set to her work. Within a half hour the cheesecake batter was mixed, the strawberries were pureed, and all necessary ingredients had made it into a graham cracker crust and into the oven.
Sweet Revenge
The cake taken care of, Amanda set to cleaning up the mess she had created. Bowls were licked and rinsed out, beaters washed, counters wiped, until only the food processor remained. Amanda set about the task carefully, wary of the sharp, curved blades. Soon, the main body of the machine was cleaned out and only the blade, fixed stubbornly to its pivot, remained. Amanda carefully grasped the dull side of the blade and pulled. With a sweet sound of revenge, the razor-sharp blade slipped and cut into Amanda's finger. She swore under her breath and dropped it in the sink, squeezing her bleeding finger in her fist. The blood was red like fruit punch and anger. Upon further examination, it seemed to be just a nick, on the inside of the top joint of her finger, where the skin wrinkles and puckers to bend.
A Forgotten Book
Not long after the food processor took its revenge for unknown offenses, Amanda's uncle, a tall man with a bald head and rusty ponytail, her aunt, a women with bouncy brown hair who smelled of stress, and cousin, a athletic girl of 21 years, arrived and set about their own duties. The room gradually filled with the sweet scent of strawberries and cream. Amanda found a book sitting on the counter. It was a book called Touching Darkness (Midnighters Volume 2). She had left it there the last week, the book forgotten in her rush to get home. She picked it up with excitement, and exclaimed that she has been looking for it.
"Is that yours?" Her grandma asked.
"Yes! I forgot it here," Amanda replied excitedly.
"Oh, I started reading that," Grandma replied, a sound of slight confusion, perhaps fear the book would disappear, in her voice.
Grandma read a book about teenagers who experience an extra hour every night well everyone else freezes? Amanda never would have picked it for her, but if she wanted to read it then she was more than welcome to.
"Oh! Then I can finish it while I am here today and leave it for you." The words came to Amanda readily and poured into the shared air, an invitation to enjoy a fantasy world.
Grandma smiled.
350 Degrees
Forty pages later, and the cheesecake was done. Amanda opened the oven door. 350 degrees of heat and hard work poured out, along with the mouthwatering smell of success. Amanda slipped on hot pads and pulled out the cookie sheet, balancing the cheesecake carefully. The pans seemed so hot, they seemed to try and burn right through the hot pads. She rushed it carefully out to the garage and slid the pie pan onto a cooling rack which had been carefully laid out for her by her uncle, but there was no where to set the cookie sheet. She started to ask her uncle where to lay it out, but the pan bit her with hot teeth through the hot pads and she decided to just set it down. Her uncle however caught her request with eager ears and began to give instruction.
"Just wait a minute, let me pull out another rack," he sputtered. Amanda was frustrated. The pan was so hot! But she waited. She shifted the cookie sheet around this way and that, moving her hands in the hot pads to keep them from sizzling. Then, in her haste, the cookie sheet slipped and with a sharp pain slid against her forearm, leaving a 4-inch long red line, a needle-thin raised blister on the skin. Amanda cursed, out loud this time, and set the pan down on the garage floor, running inside seeking a cool reprieve from the burnt puckering of flesh. The injury had its benefits though. Uncle felt horrible and treated Amanda very kindly all evening, and as she needed to hold ice onto the injury, she was left to her reading and not asked to help with other tasks. She was able to finish her book to leave for Grandma. And, when dessert came, the cheesecake was even more delicious for the pain that had gone into making it. Amanda drove home under a chocolate sky, her belly full and the pain in her arm subsiding.
1870
Three days later, Amanda and her husband found themselves wondering what to do for dinner, and decided to join some friends for a trivia night at a nearby restaurant. The game was filled with laughter and good food. After six rounds, the game was coming to a close and Amanda's team found themselves tied with someone else. A tie-breaker question was asked. The DJ read the question slowly over the microphone.
"In what year was the first Tour de France completed?" The words hung like electric static in the air, buzzing in the ears of the competing teams, and then being matched with a buzz of whispers.
"I think we should guess sometime in the 1960s"
"Couldn't it be a lot older than that?"
"It was after WWII, right?"
Then, a voice of more confidence, the voice of Amanda's husband chimed in. "I think its A LOT older than that. I was reading about the Tour de France, and for some reason, the date 1870 is sticking in my head."
"That seems way too old"
"I don't know, when were bicycles capable of doing mountains like that?"
"I think we should go with him, always go with your gut I say"
"Lets moderate it, since we don't have to be dead on lets guess 1910," said Jeff, self appointed team leader. With anxious eyes they submitted 1910 as their answer. The date 1870, the gut feeling, hung in their air like bits of fog. The music stopped and the DJ began.
"Well, we have two very different answers here! One team chose 1970 and the other chose 1910. The actual answer is," there was a silent pause for dramatic effect, and it was filled with excited nerves.
"1903!" FYC takes the game! All the friends jumped up excitedly and patted each others backs, all except Amanda's husband. He leaned back in his chair.
"Why did I think 1870, what is that date?"
The Fist Fight
Amanda had never been in a fist fight. She still has not really, but that strange Thursday afternoon experience gave her an idea of what it might feel like. She was laying in her cinnamon colored bedroom, the TV droning in the background, when she decided to stand up. Well, she didn't just decide to stand up. She remembered suddenly that she was supposed to do something, and went to leap out of bed. Unfortunately her leap was not successful. Momentum building, she threw her feet off the bed and started to lift her body. But, her left foot landed in a laundry basket that lay hidden near the bed. The momentum was too much. Her body swayed forward. She grappled with the basket, trying to remove her leg, but to no avail. As if in slow motion, she careened forward onto the cluttered floor, the right side of her jaw meeting heavily with the edge of a waste basket. It broke apart and fell. For the third time in the week, Amanda swore, righted herself, and rushed to the bathroom. There was no purple bruise or red cut to accompany the throbbing, red pain that filled her cheek. So this, she though, is what it must be like to get punched in the jaw. Her jaw ached for two days straight, and even after that remained tender to the touch.
Another Season Ends
Despite her sore jaw, Amanda had friends over that night. They came bearing casserole and vegetables, gossip and goodwill. They shared laughter and food, and then settled down for a serious two hours of Torchwood. The episodes were serious. The air in the darkened room was filled with a black tension and smell of sadness. The second season ended. The lights were turned on but a gray, hazy mood remained. Plans were made for another get together. The guests left.
Amanda noticed, Gandalf had not disturbed them all night.
A Sick Cat
It was not like Gandalf to leave so many guests alone, especially when they were focused on the television instead of him. Amanda went looking for him, and found him in their bedroom, soft grey fur smelling of urine. He was sick again, and it was obvious this time. They vowed to take him to the vet in the morning, gating him downstairs in case he peed.
At 6am, Amanda was having a vivid dream and there was a strange noise in it, a desperate squawking call. Then, Aaron spoke and awoke her, icey fear in his voice.
"Did you here that?" he asked anxiously.
"You heard it?" Amanda replied, swirls of confusion surround her words. She thought it was in her dream.
"Yes" Aaron got up and looked in the closet. No one there. Gandalf was laying in the corner but he looked sound asleep. "I thought you put him downstairs" he said.
"I told you he can jumpy that gate" Amanda replied.
"Well maybe he isn't sick then, if he can jump a gate" Aaron said. He turned the light out.
"He certainly isn't 100%" Amanda replied and rolled over to go back to sleep.
30 seconds later the sound occurred again, but this time in their states of full consciousness, Amanda and Aaron could both discern two new things.
(1) This was an uncontrollable cry of pain.
(2) It came from Gandalf
"Yeah, he is just feeling fine," Amanda said and jumped out of bed (not landing in a laundry basket or getting in a fist fight with a trash can this time. Aaron turned on the light and she swooped up Gandalf and carried him downstairs. He laid down next to the litter box. He laid down in the litter box. He made that horrible noise. He laid down by the wall and was silent for a while. Amanda went upstairs and went to bed. 2 hours later she got up and called the vet, and had them there in a half hour. In the early morning, the veterinary hospital hadn't yet reached its full chaos. They took Gandalf into the back, and several minutes the vet came in, a concerned look on his round face.
Gandalf had a urinary tract blockage and will be in the animal hospital until at least Sunday, more likely Monday. In exchange for getting him back healthy, Amanda and her husband will have to relinquish an arm, and perhaps a leg.
Other Cuts and Bruises
On Saturday morning, Amanda got up and moving with one less cat to follow her around, one less cat to get in her face. That did not keep her from getting injured. Her injuries, after all, do not come from cats. First she noticed a unexplained red, burning cut on her leg. Then, she walked into a table, leaving a dark bruise on the top of her right arm to set off the still-red burn on the bottom. I am truly a Klutz, she thought.
The Half Blood Prince Rewind
That afternoon, under a slate grey sky spitting cool rain, Amanda met her friends at a theater. They bounced around in excitement and entered a dark, cool room, that gradually filled. The crowd smelled of popcorn and giddiness. The movie started. As predicted, it was better this time. Amanda knew what to expect, and what not to spend her energy waiting for. She allowed herself to become more involved. She noticed the intricacies of the good performances. The movie ended, the lights came one. The giddiness was replaced by a sense of urgency in the dull light as people rushed to leave.
The critique began immediately, comparing notes. What were they happy with? What disappointed them. Amanda joined in readily, but was shocked by some of the commentary - not in its insults but in its ignorance. She filled some gaps, then came the comment:
"I am really annoyed they are turning book 7 into two movies," a friend said.
"I am not! I hope it means they won't butcher it as much as they did this one!" Amanda replied, pink with surprise.
"But how much time are they having between releases?" the friend asked.
"I don't care, there is so much in that book, it needs to movies."
"As far as I can tell, the first half of the book is mainly them wandering around wondering what to do" the friend said. Her voice cool with insult.
"I think you should reread it if that's what you think" Amanda replied, the pink surprise tinging into a red frustration.
"I have reread it, and I ended up skipping a lot".
A variety of words in various combinations danced in Amanda's mouth. Most of them explained what happened in the seventh book, and why it was two movies worth, some of them expressing frustration or anger, some of them turning to other topics that had the same bitter taste. None of the words were said, as her friends changed the topic.
The Next Book
The evening, Amanda lay, wrapped in her mocha bed quilt, reading a new book. Never Let Me Go. It left her with a sense of unease as she switched off the light and lowered herself into the black blanket of sleep.
Disturbing Dreams
Amanda awoke with a start at 4am, though this time it was no cat. The room was hazy gray. Her thoughts were swirling madness in the nighttime. Her teeth ran over her front tooth, and then her finger. There was a small indentation there. She knew it had been their awhile. What if it broke off? This sudden visualization lead to a deeper, darker feeling. What if it broke off? She would spend the rest of her life with no front tooth, or an implant. That would be part of her story, her only story. The totality of the brevity of life slipped over her and she curled up next to her husband. She wished it was a dream. At least if it was, she would be asleep and not stuck awake so early in the morning, words keeping her awake with their noise.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Girl Drama
Several things lately have reminded me of what drama girls can get into just out of their own volition.
The most recent case was when I was trying to figure out who to go to lunch with today. A girlfriend had said she would go, then when it came time, asked if it was OK if we just ran out and grabbed something and came back. My response was "well, I would prefer to go and sit down somewhere, but if that is the only option I would do it." She responded, "you could find someone else to go with, I have a lunch in my office anyways," to which I replied, "I know everyone's schedules, if I want food right now you are my only option".
She took offense at this last statement. Why? I don't know? Apparently it sounded like I preferred to go with someone else? But she had just told me to find someone else... so why would she take offense if I wanted to go with someone else?
I had to explain myself in full detail, how I did not mean I liked going to lunch with other people more than her, and she still seemed weird about it.
I miss my undergraduate days when I hung out with all guys... maybe after that I will prefer going to lunch with my guy friends over her!!
The most recent case was when I was trying to figure out who to go to lunch with today. A girlfriend had said she would go, then when it came time, asked if it was OK if we just ran out and grabbed something and came back. My response was "well, I would prefer to go and sit down somewhere, but if that is the only option I would do it." She responded, "you could find someone else to go with, I have a lunch in my office anyways," to which I replied, "I know everyone's schedules, if I want food right now you are my only option".
She took offense at this last statement. Why? I don't know? Apparently it sounded like I preferred to go with someone else? But she had just told me to find someone else... so why would she take offense if I wanted to go with someone else?
I had to explain myself in full detail, how I did not mean I liked going to lunch with other people more than her, and she still seemed weird about it.
I miss my undergraduate days when I hung out with all guys... maybe after that I will prefer going to lunch with my guy friends over her!!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Job Searching Shenanigans
Well, I did indeed manage to get my transcript here on time, and I went and took a test this morning to see if I can move along to the next part of the process of becoming a Disabilities Claims Adjudicator. They evaluate people's claims for disability benefits. I thought the part of the test I would struggle with was the medical terms, but as it turns out, those were easy compared to the grammar questions. You would think with a masters degree I would know when affect or effect is used, and such, but I don't. I need to have gotten 37/50 of the questions right in order to move on to an interview. I like this merit based system where I automatically get an interview if I pass the test. They are also hiring a lot of people, so that is good to hear.
The grammar skills of this morning made me laugh when I was watching Without a Trace while eating lunch just now. A "clue" they find is that someone wrote a note and used "your" instead of "you're", and they take this as a sign that the man who wrote the note is not a native English speaker. Um. Test 100 random American's and see how many of them know the difference between those two terms... I doubt that only those who are not native speakers will get it wrong.
Anyways, my current pet peeve about my job search is unclear, incomplete, or misleading minimum requirements. When I look at the OSU job site the first category I look in is "Required Qualifications". I look at them before I even look at the job description because I know that my application won't even be looked at if I do not meet them. I have now applied to two jobs in a row in which I meet all the requirements in the listing, but upon applying am asked about other experience that is not in the listing. While its not all the time consuming for me, it is still very frustrating.
People keep asking me, "What are you going to do next? What career do you want?" etc etc. The answer is, I don't know. Right now I am trying to get a job, save some money and buy some time to figure out if there is some other calling out their for me, but in all honesty I am not a calling type of girl. I do not have a passion, or at least none I have discovered. So, to all of you questioners - stop asking!! I am applying for lots of positions with universities and government organizations that I meet the minimum qualifications for and don't sound dreadful - everything from Academic Advisor to Utility Analyst to the person who goes from school to school trying to make sure they are staying on budget for the year. I am also looking at private companies but I have more trouble sorting out what they would think I am qualified for.
The grammar skills of this morning made me laugh when I was watching Without a Trace while eating lunch just now. A "clue" they find is that someone wrote a note and used "your" instead of "you're", and they take this as a sign that the man who wrote the note is not a native English speaker. Um. Test 100 random American's and see how many of them know the difference between those two terms... I doubt that only those who are not native speakers will get it wrong.
Anyways, my current pet peeve about my job search is unclear, incomplete, or misleading minimum requirements. When I look at the OSU job site the first category I look in is "Required Qualifications". I look at them before I even look at the job description because I know that my application won't even be looked at if I do not meet them. I have now applied to two jobs in a row in which I meet all the requirements in the listing, but upon applying am asked about other experience that is not in the listing. While its not all the time consuming for me, it is still very frustrating.
People keep asking me, "What are you going to do next? What career do you want?" etc etc. The answer is, I don't know. Right now I am trying to get a job, save some money and buy some time to figure out if there is some other calling out their for me, but in all honesty I am not a calling type of girl. I do not have a passion, or at least none I have discovered. So, to all of you questioners - stop asking!! I am applying for lots of positions with universities and government organizations that I meet the minimum qualifications for and don't sound dreadful - everything from Academic Advisor to Utility Analyst to the person who goes from school to school trying to make sure they are staying on budget for the year. I am also looking at private companies but I have more trouble sorting out what they would think I am qualified for.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
People Suck
Why do people have to be so immature and stupid?
Two Harbor's Honking Tree Felled by Vandals
I honestly don't know why this news story is bothering me so much, I mean, its just a tree. But it is the sheer pointlessness of the whole thing. Why would someone decide that it would be cool to cut down a seventy-five foot tree that had served as a landmark for decades?
There is only one reason. People suck.
Two Harbor's Honking Tree Felled by Vandals
I honestly don't know why this news story is bothering me so much, I mean, its just a tree. But it is the sheer pointlessness of the whole thing. Why would someone decide that it would be cool to cut down a seventy-five foot tree that had served as a landmark for decades?
There is only one reason. People suck.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Think "The Day After Tomorrow" Bad
My test went badly. Really badly. Think wolves in "The Day After Tomorrow" badly. Have you seen that movie? The so-called "premise" is a global warming disaster.
First, New York floods, typhoons take out LA, etc, etc. That's Bad, right?
Then, everything starts "insta-freezing" to unbearable temperatures very rapidly, being in the eye of this freezing storm is deadly. So, that makes things worse.
Then, the poor innocent teenagers who are stuck in New York trying to survive realize one of their number, of course the main characters love interest, is ill. So, things get worse than worse.
Then, when they go out to get medicine for her, already being threatened by extreme weather, her impending death, and the coming "insta-freeze", they are attacked by wolves.
You may have noticed by now that this sounds like a pretty crappy movie plot. So, now we have these poor kids stuck in this ridiculously horrible situation being attacked by wolves, and to add to how bad all of that is, the movie sucks.
That is how bad my economics test just went. Need I say more?
First, New York floods, typhoons take out LA, etc, etc. That's Bad, right?
Then, everything starts "insta-freezing" to unbearable temperatures very rapidly, being in the eye of this freezing storm is deadly. So, that makes things worse.
Then, the poor innocent teenagers who are stuck in New York trying to survive realize one of their number, of course the main characters love interest, is ill. So, things get worse than worse.
Then, when they go out to get medicine for her, already being threatened by extreme weather, her impending death, and the coming "insta-freeze", they are attacked by wolves.
You may have noticed by now that this sounds like a pretty crappy movie plot. So, now we have these poor kids stuck in this ridiculously horrible situation being attacked by wolves, and to add to how bad all of that is, the movie sucks.
That is how bad my economics test just went. Need I say more?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Seriously?
Yesterday was a bit annoying.
In the morning, I taught my class. The topic was "Do institutions matter for economic growth?" Included in this topic was a discussion of how coordination or cooperation is a conundrum for rational choice theory. When you assume people are rationally self interested and always pursue their self interest, it becomes very hard to explain most forms of cooperation. In order to illustrate this, I introduced my students to the most common game in Game Theory - the prisoners dilemma. Its not very difficult and really gets the basic ideas of game theory and of coordination problems across in a efficient manner.
Three hours later, I was sitting in my own economics class. ECON 805 is the second quarter of the economic graduate microeconomics sequence. These are people who mostly have undergraduate degrees in economics. We "started" game theory. Guess what he "introduced" us to? The prisoners dilemma. That is right. I both taught and was taught the same model in the same day.
It is absolutely ridiculous. Someone who has never been introduced to the prisoners dilemma has no business being in a graduate level economics course for Economic PhD Candidates. This microeconomics sequence is turning out to be quite useless - a lot of work for not much return in terms of what I WANT to be learning. I expected to be learning advanced game theory and formalization, not the prisoners dilemma.
In the morning, I taught my class. The topic was "Do institutions matter for economic growth?" Included in this topic was a discussion of how coordination or cooperation is a conundrum for rational choice theory. When you assume people are rationally self interested and always pursue their self interest, it becomes very hard to explain most forms of cooperation. In order to illustrate this, I introduced my students to the most common game in Game Theory - the prisoners dilemma. Its not very difficult and really gets the basic ideas of game theory and of coordination problems across in a efficient manner.
Three hours later, I was sitting in my own economics class. ECON 805 is the second quarter of the economic graduate microeconomics sequence. These are people who mostly have undergraduate degrees in economics. We "started" game theory. Guess what he "introduced" us to? The prisoners dilemma. That is right. I both taught and was taught the same model in the same day.
It is absolutely ridiculous. Someone who has never been introduced to the prisoners dilemma has no business being in a graduate level economics course for Economic PhD Candidates. This microeconomics sequence is turning out to be quite useless - a lot of work for not much return in terms of what I WANT to be learning. I expected to be learning advanced game theory and formalization, not the prisoners dilemma.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Midnight
Its midnight.
I became productive about forty-five minutes ago (and really dug into cleaning my office) after wasting time/not getting stuff done since I got home at 9:30pm.
I have to be up getting ready for school in seven and a half hours.
I don't want to sleep. I don't feel tired yet. I want to clean/sort articles/write my lecture. But, I have to try to sleep or I will be worthless tomorrow.
The perils of being a night person.
La sigh.
I became productive about forty-five minutes ago (and really dug into cleaning my office) after wasting time/not getting stuff done since I got home at 9:30pm.
I have to be up getting ready for school in seven and a half hours.
I don't want to sleep. I don't feel tired yet. I want to clean/sort articles/write my lecture. But, I have to try to sleep or I will be worthless tomorrow.
The perils of being a night person.
La sigh.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Book Club and "Poli Sci" Club
By popular request (OK. So, in all reality, by the ONLY request), I decided to write an entry about book club. However, about half way through I left and went to my event for the evening, a belated bridal shower for a member of my cohort. The stark contrast between the two events is unignorable, and had to become the topic of my post. Allow me to start backwards and talk about tonight first.
Tonight I headed over to a friends house for a belated bridal shower. After getting their early and helping set up, people began to trickle in. It was nice seeing people at first, a couple girls who I have not seen in quite a while were there. Unfortunately the turnout was pretty bad. There were five of us their before the "surprise" occured. The unsuspecting victim walked in, we all yelled surprise, and we gave her her card. Then, her and the two people she rode with came in and ate. The rest of the evening? As in the next 2 1/2 hours? We sat in a circle and talked about graduate school. We repeated every used-up, old story that has been told before about various parts of graduate school. We repeated conversations we have had a million times, and most of us acted like they were new. We repeated conversations that annoyed me the 1st time we had them, let alone the 2nd, the 3rd, and the 200th. They talked about how bad our first year, first quarter stats professor was, and I defended him - a conversation we have been having for TWO YEARS now. I spent a lot of the evening, besides some choice moments that were actually great stories and I will have to share with you at some point, wanting to gouge my eyes out in boredom (or less drastically, wanting to leave).
I understand that we keep very busy with school, I live it just as they do.
I understand the need to talk about how frustrated we are with whatever stage of the process we are at and get it out there.
I understand that we all know the same people.
I understand how entertaining departmental gossip can be, I am not one to pass it by if its new and juicy.
I understand that not everyone has heard the same stories, and that we had one girl who was entirely new to the gathering there, who had heard nothing.
But, can we ever put that aside? Can't we spend an evening talking about what movies are out or what we watch on TV or *gasp* politics (you would be shocked how little political scientists talk about actual politics when it comes down to it), or the news, or how our families are, or what travels we have done, or what we are planning for spring break, or philosophy, or, here is a novel idea - the guest of honors wedding/husband, or weddings in general, or ANYTHING besides dissertations, exams, and professors? Can't we spend an evening playing Apples to Apples? I brought it. We did not touch it.
Don't get me wrong. I have friends in the department. I enjoy spending time with many of my cohort members. But, that time is invariably more pleasant when we officially ban anything school related as a potential topic for discussion, an event which occurs far too infrequently. I do not want to spend my life obsessing over everything school related. I want variety, I want new, interesting ideas and things. I want to laugh at jokes that I have not heard twelve times before. I do not want to be able to guess what topic or what story or even what sentence will come next in a conversation because its been said so many times before. Is that too much to ask?
Pause the movie. Rewind.
Thursday night I went to book club.
I am in a book club that was formed on an online message board for Columbus Womenv which I frequent . (I know. *GASP*. I went to meet people that I met on the internet?! How did I not get abducted? Raped? Murdered?). The fact is, this message board is a great resource. I know so many more people in Columbus then I ever would have had I not found it. I go to quite a bit of "real life" get-togethers with them, and have been doing so for probably two years now, though I don't know the exact date when I first took that leap (it was lunch with a couple of the ladies who work at OSU).
Anyways, Thursday night book club was at the house of one of the "nesties" I have known for a while (she has her own blog over at Bouncing Baby Buckeye if you would like to check it out!) She has a nice house, and I want to steal her Kitchen. She has it painted orange and I absolutely love it. So, I went over there after a long day and kicked back with a massive spread of food and about 11 other women. We were their for over four hours, and it seemed to pass just like that. We did discuss the book, though less than usual. That was fine by me. It was not a very deep book. I did not particularly enjoy it, but I am glad some people did. The book, which involved billion dollar fortunes, cheating husbands, divorce, crystal meth use, social climbing, tennis partners, rampant feminism, mother-daughter fights, bankruptcy, lying, pot, movie star exes, drunkedness, teen sex, teen pregnancy, miscarriage, escapism, media manipulation, and of course, born again Christians, inspired some very interesting conversations. We talked about the show Intervention and had some very amusing imitations of various types of addicts. Those of us who had read Twilight tried to convince those that hadn't that it was worth the time. They made me laugh until I cried, until I coughed (OK. Everytime I start coughing around a new group of people I feel like making the disclaimer: I AM NOT SICK. I AM NOT COUGHING GERMS ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE. Its a chronic cough, maybe asthma, maybe not, but really, I am OK, and I will not get you sick. I did not have an opportunity to make that disclaimer that night, so I will now.) I laughed really hard. I made them laugh really hard. I heard new stories and new jokes about topics and things I knew nothing about. They did not ask me about my dissertation. They did not spend the night verbalizing their stress and spreading those stresses to my shoulders. They did not expect me to reassure them or affirm them or justify them. And it was so much fun. I had a blast!!
The conclusions? Two fold:
(1) I need to do something about the constant repetitiveness of conversations with cohort members, or its going to start hurting my friendships as I grow increasingly frustrated.
(2) Book Club Girls... YOU ROCK!!
Tonight I headed over to a friends house for a belated bridal shower. After getting their early and helping set up, people began to trickle in. It was nice seeing people at first, a couple girls who I have not seen in quite a while were there. Unfortunately the turnout was pretty bad. There were five of us their before the "surprise" occured. The unsuspecting victim walked in, we all yelled surprise, and we gave her her card. Then, her and the two people she rode with came in and ate. The rest of the evening? As in the next 2 1/2 hours? We sat in a circle and talked about graduate school. We repeated every used-up, old story that has been told before about various parts of graduate school. We repeated conversations we have had a million times, and most of us acted like they were new. We repeated conversations that annoyed me the 1st time we had them, let alone the 2nd, the 3rd, and the 200th. They talked about how bad our first year, first quarter stats professor was, and I defended him - a conversation we have been having for TWO YEARS now. I spent a lot of the evening, besides some choice moments that were actually great stories and I will have to share with you at some point, wanting to gouge my eyes out in boredom (or less drastically, wanting to leave).
I understand that we keep very busy with school, I live it just as they do.
I understand the need to talk about how frustrated we are with whatever stage of the process we are at and get it out there.
I understand that we all know the same people.
I understand how entertaining departmental gossip can be, I am not one to pass it by if its new and juicy.
I understand that not everyone has heard the same stories, and that we had one girl who was entirely new to the gathering there, who had heard nothing.
But, can we ever put that aside? Can't we spend an evening talking about what movies are out or what we watch on TV or *gasp* politics (you would be shocked how little political scientists talk about actual politics when it comes down to it), or the news, or how our families are, or what travels we have done, or what we are planning for spring break, or philosophy, or, here is a novel idea - the guest of honors wedding/husband, or weddings in general, or ANYTHING besides dissertations, exams, and professors? Can't we spend an evening playing Apples to Apples? I brought it. We did not touch it.
Don't get me wrong. I have friends in the department. I enjoy spending time with many of my cohort members. But, that time is invariably more pleasant when we officially ban anything school related as a potential topic for discussion, an event which occurs far too infrequently. I do not want to spend my life obsessing over everything school related. I want variety, I want new, interesting ideas and things. I want to laugh at jokes that I have not heard twelve times before. I do not want to be able to guess what topic or what story or even what sentence will come next in a conversation because its been said so many times before. Is that too much to ask?
Pause the movie. Rewind.
Thursday night I went to book club.
I am in a book club that was formed on an online message board for Columbus Womenv which I frequent . (I know. *GASP*. I went to meet people that I met on the internet?! How did I not get abducted? Raped? Murdered?). The fact is, this message board is a great resource. I know so many more people in Columbus then I ever would have had I not found it. I go to quite a bit of "real life" get-togethers with them, and have been doing so for probably two years now, though I don't know the exact date when I first took that leap (it was lunch with a couple of the ladies who work at OSU).
Anyways, Thursday night book club was at the house of one of the "nesties" I have known for a while (she has her own blog over at Bouncing Baby Buckeye if you would like to check it out!) She has a nice house, and I want to steal her Kitchen. She has it painted orange and I absolutely love it. So, I went over there after a long day and kicked back with a massive spread of food and about 11 other women. We were their for over four hours, and it seemed to pass just like that. We did discuss the book, though less than usual. That was fine by me. It was not a very deep book. I did not particularly enjoy it, but I am glad some people did. The book, which involved billion dollar fortunes, cheating husbands, divorce, crystal meth use, social climbing, tennis partners, rampant feminism, mother-daughter fights, bankruptcy, lying, pot, movie star exes, drunkedness, teen sex, teen pregnancy, miscarriage, escapism, media manipulation, and of course, born again Christians, inspired some very interesting conversations. We talked about the show Intervention and had some very amusing imitations of various types of addicts. Those of us who had read Twilight tried to convince those that hadn't that it was worth the time. They made me laugh until I cried, until I coughed (OK. Everytime I start coughing around a new group of people I feel like making the disclaimer: I AM NOT SICK. I AM NOT COUGHING GERMS ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE. Its a chronic cough, maybe asthma, maybe not, but really, I am OK, and I will not get you sick. I did not have an opportunity to make that disclaimer that night, so I will now.) I laughed really hard. I made them laugh really hard. I heard new stories and new jokes about topics and things I knew nothing about. They did not ask me about my dissertation. They did not spend the night verbalizing their stress and spreading those stresses to my shoulders. They did not expect me to reassure them or affirm them or justify them. And it was so much fun. I had a blast!!
The conclusions? Two fold:
(1) I need to do something about the constant repetitiveness of conversations with cohort members, or its going to start hurting my friendships as I grow increasingly frustrated.
(2) Book Club Girls... YOU ROCK!!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Let Me Vent
(1) I am so sick of being told I have nothing to worry about when it comes to the exams, especially when it is said like "If anyone has nothing to worry about, its you". It drives me nuts, and no one seems to understand why. It adds pressure. Its like it means that if I do fail its my own fault, or that if I do fail I have let down everyone else, or if I do fail, I am the biggest disapointment in the department. It does not reassure me, because they do not know what I wrote on that test.
(2) If there is someone who has been very helpful to you and decided to cat sit for you, and you know this person is busy and stressed, and you say you are going to be at her house at 8pm to pick up the cats, actually show up at 8! Don't call her at 8pm and tell her you will be an hour. She probably has other things to do, things she was putting off until you came, like showering, doing laundry, and starting her homework, because she figured it was easier wait since it was already almost 8pm anyways. Don't tell her the reason you are going to be late is because you are going to go run another errand first that does not need to be scheduled and you could do some other time. At least come up with a good excuse, not just you being inconsiderate.
(2) If there is someone who has been very helpful to you and decided to cat sit for you, and you know this person is busy and stressed, and you say you are going to be at her house at 8pm to pick up the cats, actually show up at 8! Don't call her at 8pm and tell her you will be an hour. She probably has other things to do, things she was putting off until you came, like showering, doing laundry, and starting her homework, because she figured it was easier wait since it was already almost 8pm anyways. Don't tell her the reason you are going to be late is because you are going to go run another errand first that does not need to be scheduled and you could do some other time. At least come up with a good excuse, not just you being inconsiderate.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Message Board Smarts
I have been spending a lot of time on a political message board lately, and am amazed at people's (1) choices about what to post and (2) inability to communicate. It has lead me to compile this list of ten rules for successfully participating in a friendly message board on a contentious topic.
Rules for Good Message Board Communication
1. Don't start posts with accusations or bias questions. If you honestly want to hear other people's opinions, make the question unbiased.
2. Only post facts that you know for sure are true. There is no shame in googling something before posting it to make sure you are understanding it correctly or using a term correctly.
3. Write your posts to be as clear as possible in both purpose and opinion. If the purpose is explanatory, state that up front. If the purpose is to express your opinion, make sure your opinion is directly stated in plain language. If the purpose of your post is you wanting to express or vent an opinion, don't put it under the guise of trying to start a non-bias debate, admit what it is from the get-go. Trust me, you will still get people to argue with you!
4. Reread your own post at least twice before posting it to make sure its actually saying what you want it to say.
5. Remember that there is no such thing as an objectively right opinion. If there was, it would be so clearly obvious that everyone would see it and there would be no debate. Rather there are only arguments and counter arguments, some stronger or more ethical than others.
6. Whenever you are posting a response, read the post you are responding to at least twice.
7. If you don't understand what someone is saying, don't respond unless its to ask for clarification. Do not assume that you know what they are saying when it is unclear.
8. If someone says something is a joke, take it as a joke and don't get riled up about it, even if you disagree with it.
9. If someone makes a good argument, but you disagree with it, recognize its validity in your response.
10. Admit it when you are wrong or make a mistake.
Rules for Good Message Board Communication
1. Don't start posts with accusations or bias questions. If you honestly want to hear other people's opinions, make the question unbiased.
2. Only post facts that you know for sure are true. There is no shame in googling something before posting it to make sure you are understanding it correctly or using a term correctly.
3. Write your posts to be as clear as possible in both purpose and opinion. If the purpose is explanatory, state that up front. If the purpose is to express your opinion, make sure your opinion is directly stated in plain language. If the purpose of your post is you wanting to express or vent an opinion, don't put it under the guise of trying to start a non-bias debate, admit what it is from the get-go. Trust me, you will still get people to argue with you!
4. Reread your own post at least twice before posting it to make sure its actually saying what you want it to say.
5. Remember that there is no such thing as an objectively right opinion. If there was, it would be so clearly obvious that everyone would see it and there would be no debate. Rather there are only arguments and counter arguments, some stronger or more ethical than others.
6. Whenever you are posting a response, read the post you are responding to at least twice.
7. If you don't understand what someone is saying, don't respond unless its to ask for clarification. Do not assume that you know what they are saying when it is unclear.
8. If someone says something is a joke, take it as a joke and don't get riled up about it, even if you disagree with it.
9. If someone makes a good argument, but you disagree with it, recognize its validity in your response.
10. Admit it when you are wrong or make a mistake.
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