Wednesday, September 17, 2014


People act very strangely around pregnant women. I don't understand it. I get it, its exciting, and weird, that I am growing a little human.

All that weirdness just increases exponentially as the due date approaches, and if you go over the due date? Wow. People go totally crazy and stop thinking of the most basic curtesies.

- Why haven't you been induced?
Listen, I know it may seem "easy" and you might know plenty of stories of induction "gone right", but induction is no laughing matter. Its a complicated decision and its between me and my doctor, so I don't need to hear your opinion on it. Especially if you are going to reference the experience of your daughter/sister/niece. Every situation is different. Trust me to be my own advocate, thanks.

- Are you feeling anything "Down There"?
Sometimes this is literally what is said. Other times they don't actually finish the sentence, but make a strange gesture towards your stomach/crotch area. This question seriously freaks me out. These are not people that I want to discuss my cervic, uterus, or mucous plug with. Thank you. I imagine that the people who ask you this are the same ones that after labor will ask you things like "did you tear?" .... None of your god damn business. There are much nicer, less personal ways to ask about contractions. IF you must.

- You are still here?/Still Pregnant?
I have actually had coworkers who asked this multiple times in the same day. Its extremely aggravating. The level of idiocy that underlies this question is obvious. If you are asking me this question, yes, yes I am still here. And I may not be happy about it. And I certainly don't need your expectations of my absence to be stacked upon whatever other expectations I am facing, whether they be my own or well-meaning family members. I have actually had coworkers who asked this multiple times in the same day.

- I haven't heard from you/seen you on facebook. Are you having the baby?
 I know you mean well and are just excited, but just like the question above, I really don't need all of your expectations stacked upon my own. ESPECIALLY if I am trying to make a conscious effort to keep facebook posted so you DONT do this. ESPECIALLY if I already have told you that I am trying to avoid this question. Also, you don't get "points" for being the first to figure out if I am in labor, and I guarentee you that DH and I are not patient people. We will post on facebook promptly after the baby is born.

Questions to Ask At Your Own Risk (they MIGHT be OK)
- How are you feeling? I am perfectly OK with this question. It has a nice, open-ended feel without expectation. I can answer it as specifically or generally as I like, which will probably be reflective of what my relationship with you is. I can tell you everything is OK, or that I am ready to go home, or that I am really crampy (I wish).

- When do you think he/she will come? Again, nice and open ended. I can just say "i don't know" if I am in a bad mood, but usually I don't mind telling people I think it will still be awhile. I don't mind telling them what my planned induction date is. In fact, I would like to publicize both these facts to try and prevent other stupid questions.

BTW, if you are taking notes, the above two questions are the only way to get info on contractions without sounding like you want a lesson in female anatomy.

Questions/Comments that are ALWAYS OK
- You look great! (or any variation - Your bump is so cute! I love that shirt! etc etc)
- You are doing really great! Good job hanging in there!
- Good luck with everything! Hope it goes smoothly (or any variation)
- Can I get you anything? Soda? Peanut M&Ms? Foot Rub?

Monday, September 15, 2014

My Serious Boy (and 40+3)

I am tempted to do another ME update, but it has been much longer since I have talked about Ben. But just a quick ditty about me. I am 40w3d pregnant with no signs of an end. Hoping I can be dilated enough by Thursday to have my membrane stripped, but no guarentees. I will be induced next Monday, the 22nd, if nothing happens by then, by my own choosing. That date feels right to me, 10 days late. Physically I probably feel better than 2-3 weeks ago. I actually wish I felt a little worse because maybe then I would believe labor was coming.

  Benjamin is such a serious child! Not that he never laughs or goes crazy, he certainly does, but he takes things so literally a lot of the time. We have had multiple times where he has gotten upset because an adult tried to joke around with him and he took them seriously. One time his Aunt K joked that she was going to wear his shoes home. You know, "Will these shoes fit me?" type stuff. He seemed to "get" that it was a joke until she left, then he was all concerned with whether she had taken his shoes. We had him at a restaurant. The waitress brought the food,then, realizing the Mac&Cheese was for a kid, took it back to the kitchen to put it on a cooler plate. The other waitress made the joke "she is going to take it back to the kitchen and eat it" and Ben flipped out, started a total meltdown, except luckily just as it began the food arrived and was placed in front of him. Still took him a few minutes to recover. He likes to pretend to steal other people's noses, but if you take his, he gets very serious and demands it back. Recently DH made a comment like 'I am going to eat you up" and Ben got very distraught "don't eat me!!". He is a serious child.

Ben is soundly in the "WHY??" Stage and wants an explanation for everything. He likes to talk and know what is going on around him.

He likes: The Mall. Vehicles. Emergency Rescue anything (fire trucks especially). Construction equiptment. McDonalds (parent of the year award here), peanut m&ms (all candy but I think this is particularly note worthy as it is a recenty introduction), trains, playing hide&seek (the toddler way where he comes out of hiding as soon as you are done counting), being told stories (where his friends are all rescue workers), chocolate milk, lemonade, olives, books, the show Mighty Machines (particularly the snow plow and submarine episodes), "his baby" (kissing, hugging, singing to my stomach), his stuffed animals (He particularly likes little ones. He has a hedgehog, alligator, panda bear, fox and reindeer that all serve as his buddies), his green BP Semi Truck that he inherited from his Great Grandpa (which has flashing lights and a horn), playgrounds, sand, The Rose Garden and the "castle" you can walk to from their, books with flaps to open, Lion King, slapstick humor, apples from Grandma's apple tree (even the crab apples), his aunts and uncles, staying home to play, Mac&Cheese, his buddy Rex at daycare, taking his shoes off and dumping the sand out himself, asking the question "why" or "what is that", boats, singing, climbing on things, sidewalk chalk, splashing in puddles,cherries, tonka trucks, his dad (especially at bedtime), polar fleece, baths, having someone to play with, and tarter sauce (All condiments really).

  He Dislikes: transitions (if he is home, he doesn't want to leave, if we are out and about he doesn't want to go home), going to the table to eat when he would rather be playing, things being destroyed or torn down or broken, loud noises (even if its something he "likes" like vehicles!!), going to daycare (though he is fine once we are there), eggs, veggies, the idea of other people playing with his toys, the unknown, football (or, us having football on), changing out of pajamas, malts, being ignored, playing alone, potty training, being called little, sudden changes to plans, and being told he is wrong

Friday, September 5, 2014

39 Weeks

39 Weeks pregnant... one to go.

Things are going well!!
By this time last pregnancy, I was pretty desperate for baby to COME OUT. Mainly though this was because I was anxious about the fact my doctors wanted to induce me for no good reason (They alleged that IVF made me higher risk to go over-due, but that is blatantly false if you read any research on it. Increased risks with IVF end around week 20).

Anyways. This time there is no talk of inducing me earlier than any other healthy mom would be encouraged to induce. Actually I haven't discussed induction with my doctor at all yet, which is the way I like it. It shouldn't be part of the conversation until I am at my due date.

But, allow me to get off my soap box and tell you how things are going.

We decided at my appt this week that the baby has dropped. I suspected it from the increased pains and pressures, doctor confirmed it. No other signs of progress really. I have been 50% effaced and <1cm dilated for the past two weeks... not even as progressed as I was with Benjamin at this point. I fully expect this baby to arrive on or, more likely, after her due date of 9/12. I have some increased pressure and pains from her dropping (frankly it kind of feels like I got kicked in the crotch), slightly increased swelling but still not severe, occasional heartburn. Some days my back our hip hurts, but it's not everyday. My knees don't like the extra weight I am carrying. Some times I feel like there isn't enough room in my abdomen for all my organs our my lungs.... pretty normal pregnancy symptoms really and nothing bad or consistent. That is probably why I can be so patient. I am far enough along that I would be ok with going into labor, but I feel no urgency for it. I also have this notion that I still might get some stuff done before she comes... we will see!! I am craving sweets, especially anything with peanuts or peanut butter.
No big plans over the weekend. Hopefully watch a lot of football and do some more cleaning nesting. I hope to post a Benjamin update soon.