Hospital Bills and Health Care Issues

I know that lately this blog has become just a list of what I do each day, I apologize if it is boring you. I think it has been like that for a few reasons. First, it is what some of my blog readers are looking for I think, the people like my parents who I don't talk to all that often but want to know what is going on in my life more. I may put something here that they did not know about in our phone and text conversations. Second, its easy. Its much easier to post about the random things that happened over the weekend than to delve into various thoughts and questions, some of which are controversial. Third, it is just how I have been feeling. I have not had time or energy to mull over anything really interesting lately, I spend a lot of energy just making sure I am doing what I can to be healthy for baby and to not feel like crap.

So, how about a ranting post for a change? 

We got our bill from the hospital. Looking at the itemized list is ridiculous. There is something seriously wrong w/out hospital's charge people. I am not saying we got charged too much either, I am just saying that the itemized list is all wrong. I mean, the point of an itemized list is to explain why your bill is what it is, not to list random prices the hospital has assigned to things. This is how you end up getting charged $56 for a dose of Tylenol that, as they bill even stated, I administered to myself. What is costing money is not the tylenol, but rather the record keeping, and the nurses care and the doctors expertise, and the well equipped hospital that was ready to deal with me if things got worse. So why doesn't my bill even mention these things? Instead it has all of these physical items, like "IV Therapy, $2780.80". Really? The IV cost $2780? I don't think so. I would much rather see "IV equipment use 24 hrs $1000, Nurses IV monitoring $1780.80" than this, or however they actually explain the expense when they come up with these prices. I know its a matter of semantics, but I am just saying whats the point of an itemized bill if it does not really tell you how the costs are incurred?

Of course we are among the lucky who have health insurance and we will be paying much less out of pocket than this itemized list totals, which is another can of worms I am not going to get into involving just what is broken about our healthcare system in America. I have to say seeing this bill gives me a little more sympathy for the plethora of claimants I have every week that say things like "I can't afford to go to the doctor every time my condition acts up because I don't have insurance" or  those who beg us to expedite their case because of the medical bills they are facing. The fact is that not getting medical care can affect your ability to get disability, because if you don't have your own treatment then all we have to go on is a one-time exam. This one time exam will be pretty good for things like back problems, chronic lung disease, etc, but it will not give us any real perspective if you have severe seizures or migraines or asthma attacks or anything like that. Or lets say, if you have cancer that you have not been able to get treatment for because you don't have insurance. There are some really sad things that happen to people in this country that do not have insurance. Back when we were in training we worked on a practice case (using a real person from a long time ago), who was diagnosed with cancer and told to report for tx. She did not see anyone for six months because of money problems/lack on insurance. When she went back to the doctor 6 months later they told her there was nothing they could do for her as the cancer was to advanced. Of course she got disability at this point, and then died shortly after. Yet we are supposedly the "best" country in the world (or thats how many American's view it!).

I recognize there is no perfect healthcare system, and I also recognize that there is not enough resources in the world to give everyone perfect healthcare, but there has to be something that makes more sense than what we are doing now.

Ah, November Air!

First, I encourage everyone to get out and vote. Yay democracy in action!

Second, apparently Novemeber is National Blog Month or something and there is a challenge to post everyday in November. I already failed that challenge by not posting yesterday. I started to write a post, but it was taking a political term and I do not write political things at work because of the state employee political action issues. I do plan to finish that post, hopefully on Thursday. So, I am not going to post everyday. I will try to reinvigorate the blog though!

Third. It is November. Back at the beginning of October I pointed out I had three months left to make any progress on my New Years Resolutions. Now I only have two months. It was not an organized month. Maybe I am just not meant to be organized. I will start projects or processes, they just don't last. I am not quite resigned to my fate yet. I started November off on the right note with a cleaning spree on Sunday. I think the main problem I have had with this resolution is my inability to come up with concrete goals associated with it. We had discussed having a chore chart, and I think we will do that this month. If it works it will be at least one thing. I also noticed that I have fallen a bit behind on my reading, and need to pick that up to read 40K pages. I really want to reach that goal!!

Halloweekend

The title of this post used to be a cool marketing invention. Now it is very much over-used. And here I am, contributing to its overuse by putting it as a post title. I intend to add pictures of the events described in this post to my blog at some point, but if I wait until I have the pictures to right this I won't remember anything.

Friday night we went to BW3s for dinner, mainly because I was craving it. YUM. Mango Habenero Sauce and blue cheese. Yummy. After that we finished that we went out to buy the last parts of our costumes, including *dah da da dah* blond hair dye. Then we headed back to the house. We watched "Percy Jackson: Lightening Thief" - a bad book which turned out to be a worse movie - while I dyed my hair blond. DH was supposed to help, he was not very useful for applying the actual dye because he was too nervous, but he was great for the small conveniences of having him run around getting me a fan, or pouring me a drink while my hands were all messy. I am now a blond, at least temporarily (6+ weeks?). We will see what happens. I really have never dyed my hair before (not successfully at least), so I don't know exactly how this works with roots growing and such. Basically, I will leave my hair like this until I decide it looks too bad, then will either get it cut or professionally dyed to fix the issue (back to my regular color?). Whatever you do when you want to be done dying your hair. It is quite the change!!
Anyways, that was Friday. On Saturday I went to the last outdoor Farmer's Market of 2010. I got apple cider, cheese, and a secret addition to my mom's very belated Bday present. (you will get it soon, like 11/17 perhaps? LOL). I dropped the loot at home and then went in for a couple of hours of overtime. I don't mind working Saturday's. It is totally relaxed, you can leave when you want, and it feels like every task you do will make Monday better. When I got back to the house I just wanted to sleep. So I did. When I did get up I finished making the last part of my halloween costume, walked the dogs, and then dog dressed.

I have to admit, DH's and my costume was a stretch. It was obvious what we were dressed up as, but we gave a twist to it for our political friends (who are pretty much all of them). Pretty esoteric of us ultimately. I went as Alice in Wonderland. DH went as the Mad Hatter. Those costumes are pretty obvious. However, then we carried tea cups and wore name badges - Christine O'Donnell and Joe Miller. In other words... (wait for it)... we were the mad Tea Party. I know. Really really academic of us and all that crap. But the parallel is too interesting to me not to draw it.

I was going to discuss that point a bit more (the comparison of the political movement being called the Tea Party to the mad tea party that occurs in Alice in Wonderland), but I simply don't have the energy and want to get this posted.

The halloween party was great. Besides us there was a bad guy w/damsel in distress (she was even tied to a railroad), hermione and ron from harry potter, two chilean coal minors, and the miller high life delivery man.

I expected to spend Sunday mostly relaxing and watching football. I did that, but I also managed to get a lot of cleaning done. It was a good day.

It's on like Donkey Kong

Ok. I have no idea where that title comes from, who first said "Its on like Donkey Kong"? I might need to research the history of that. Anyways. DH and I are racing. As for about 11pm Monday night we are racing to the end of our books. My assigned book is Les Miserables (1463 pgs). His assigned book is Pride and Prejudice (390 pgs). A handicap is necessary in this sort of race, since I devour books, but this one might be a bit large. We will see. I am currently on page 336. He is currently on page 68. I am going to see a movie with friends tonight (Yes. It is Eclipse in the dollar run theater). That will give him a big opportunity to get ahead, if he takes it. Tomorrow we are both going to the OSU football game. Sunday I imagine will substantially be spent reading on both of our parts. I imagine that if he is really dedicated he could finish by Sunday night, where as that is not really a possability for me,

My part of the task would be made slightly easier if I was finding Les Miserables captivating, but I am not. It has this way of getting really interesting and sucking you in, and then totally changing locations and characters, or going into some long description of a historical event, so as to suck all momentum and life out of you. I am not quite sure how this is DH's favorite book. I knew in advance I was not a big Victor Hugo fan, having read The Hunchback of Notre Dame (horribly depressing by the way, I prefer the Disney version where everyone comes out happy at the end instead of dying tragically and heart broken). I am not against unhappy endings, but that book takes it to the extreme a bit.

But I digress. Actually I don't digress, because this post does not have som other point I was trying to get to. I just wanted to tell you all about the race. So now I am free to ramble as I will.
So onto a little political rant I guess. Politicians simplify things a bit much. It drives me nuts. I am so sick of hearing Anti-Free Trade commercials. I am not necessarily pro-free trade, but these commercials treat it as if its an obvious answer, that of course Free Trade is taking away jobs and therefore it is evil and we should not do it. Seriously, if ANYTHING in economics or politics was that simple, it would be SO obvious what needed to be done that we would not even need two parties, But in reality things are more complicated than that. That anti-free trade person is not mentioning that without free trade you would be facing much higher prices in stores everywhere. My point is that it is complex, and should be treated as complex. I think thats the problem with democracy overall. Competition and trying to win the popular vote encourages oversimplification. An average voter does not have time to understand or sort out the complexities (I am inclined to actually say does not have the intelligence, but that may be a bit too overtly pessimistic) Ah, democracy. The worst form of government possible, but better than all the alternatives.

PS: As far as "its on like donkey kong", I cannot find the origins. It is just a general phrase going back to the original video game, propagated no doubt by the awesome rhyme. It pops up in random pieces of music and movies at least back to 1992 and perhaps before that.

A Political Science Aside...

In political science they sometimes study the difference between what people learn and what people remember, between what people know and what they think they know. In general, a lot of results show that people remember only the facts that support their position, and construct views around those "facts" they do know, or whatever information stuck with them best. This, by the way, is an argument AGAINST democracy - it is essentially impossible for people to be fully informed.

Anyways, the reason I bring this up is because I am a living example of how this happens. Not in politics, where I try to stay relatively well informed and keep an "open" mind when it comes to facts. BUT, I am a good example of this at work. Three times recently I have had one "fact" stick in my mind about a case and had it cause me to construct a reality about the case that simply was not supported by the totality of evidence. In all three of these cases there was some exam of the claimant that's report made me feel like the claimant's condition but surely be very severe and they would likely be allowances. In all three cases, when I went to meet with a DR about it, or sent it to be reviewed by a doctor, they asked "where is the evidence that they are telling the truth?" or, in one case "where is the evidence they have ANY medical condition?" I had completely neglected the fact that despite one exam where they were presenting as in pain/very psychologically distressed, there was no evidence of an ongoing issue or of it being severe as the claimant alleged. I had constructed a reality of the case around the idea that the claimant was suffering. Once the Drs pointed out my errors, thorough review of the evidence showed that in all three cases, everything besides the one "fact" I had picked out indicated the case was not that severe and that these people could work.

I feel like I need to step back, take a breath, and return to looking at the totality of the evidence.

Health Care Reform

Have I posted about this before? I am not sure. Even if I have, it is certainly worth posting about and its certainly worth being my 300th post.

I am currently reading Hillary Rodham Clinton's autobiography. It is not that well written (I am sure a ghost writer wrote it, and they should have chosen someone else), but it is interesting. One of the things that is most interesting to me at the moment is her reflections on her attempts to reform health care in 1993/1994. It is de ja vu all over again, so to speak. The Clinton plan was similar to the Obama plan in that they wanted to create a minium ammt of coverage, standards for policies, and then within the confines of that standard, allow market competition. Like Obama's plan, it was designed to improve insurance and reduce costs for those currently insured, guarentee coverage of preexisting conditions and prevent people from losing insurance because they changed jobs. It was also designed to get more low income American's onto insurance plans.

Needless to say, they were unable to get it past. The resemblance in their efforts is striking - large interest groups working against them, putting misinformation into the media both via direct commercial and just quotable quotes. The Clinton's stopped trying to reform health care after 2 yrs of fighting for it because it had become an impossible mission given the environment created by the Republicans and special interest groups. She ends her discussion of it with this quote, which I find eerily relevant to the current situation - "Ultimately, we could never convince the vast majority of Americans who have health insurance that they wouldn't have to give up benefits and medical choices to help the minority of Americans without coverage. Nor could we persuade them that reform would protect them from losing insurance and would make their medical care more affordable in the future." I sincerely hope that this does not happen with the current attempts at reform. As President Obama said in his state of the Union last week, the budget office estimates the current health reform package will reduce the deficit. The current proposal get health care to a lot of Americans that do not have it. It will reduce the ability of insurance companies to make decisions about our lives, and reduce medical costs that have gotten ridiculously high. Unfortunately, these are not the messages that are getting across.

I don't even know how to end this blog post. Every day I encounter reasons that we need to reform health care. Every day I speak with claimants who are not receiving treatment or not taking needed medication because they cannot afford it. Some of these people are people who had a one-time lack of money alter their ability to work for the rest of their lives (for example, a man who broke his arm and received sub-standard care due to his lack of ability to pay and now has limited use of that arm). Some of these people are people who could be functioning members of society if they could afford the drug that keeps their brain chemistry balanced. Others are putting their lives at risk every day by not taking insulin because they do not have coverage.

Here is what I want. I want health care reform. I want people who are against health care reform to accept the moral implications that position holds, and stop pretending that there are no moral implications. I hope I get at least one of these wishes.

Vaccines

There has been a lot of discussion lately on some of the internet sites I frequent concerning whether or not people should get the seasonal flu vaccine and the H1N1 vaccine. Apparently there are a lot of women out there who think its unsafe, or at least that not having it is safer than having it.

This boggles my mind. I just can't wrap my head around the reasoning going into this. Here are some arguments I have heard, sometimes directly, sometimes implied:

"The mercury in vaccines is dangerous." OK. I know mercury is not good for you, but kids used to PLAY with mercury on table tops. The amount is so tiny, and it has been tested every which way with no replicable evidence showing any harm done by the amount of mercury in vaccines. (It's all in the science! Read the studies... I think there is one floating around saying it causes all sorts of issues and a million saying there is no effect).

"The swine flu vaccine hurt a lot of people 40 years ago". First - the definition of "a lot" needs to be considered, the vast majority of shots still had no negative effect. Second, do you know how much medicine has improved since then? 40 years ago birth control caused all sorts of potential complications including instant death from blood clots... so do these same women not use birth control because at one time it was unsafe?

"All vaccines carry a risk of serious side effect." True. But the risk is tiny. I would like to see someone showing with widely accepted data that the rate of death from the vaccine is higher than that from flu, particularly in high risk groups. I seriously doubt the evidence is there.

"Vaccines do not actually work, you still can get sick". True, but again, incredibly unlikely. In general, vaccines are offered to the public because they reduce the chance of infection significantly for each individual who has one and work at preventing the spread of the disease as a whole through society.

What bothers me the most about all of these reasons is that they all seem to rely on an underlying assumption that naturalists have some secret information or knowledge that the scientific and medical communities lack as a whole, or that the medical community does not have peoples best interest at heart (which frankly implies some conspiracy). I have said this before and I will say it again. The reason that doctors and the medical community recommend people have the flu vaccine is because on average statistically speaking it is better for a person to have it than not have it, and the more people get it, the better off society as a whole will be. To those people who disagree, especially those scientists and doctors who disagree, I want to say prove it! The medical community is a scientific community. Do the study that shows you are right, and publish it in a peer reviewed journal. It WILL get attention, if its scientific. I feel like the fear mongering by those against the vaccine is as bad (if not worse) than fear mongering done by the media.

Glad to have that out of my system.

Where I come from...

Al Franken and the Odd Politics of Minnesota

Seriously folks, if you want to know where I come from politically and socially, read this article. My parents might be implants to Minnesota, but I would say they fit in with this description, particularly the "Other states, other voters, express alienation by staying home on Election Day. But Minnesotans take a more civic approach to their estrangement, showing up at the polls and replacing the bums with some choices that scan as odd from a distance."

In the words of my father, "whats the worse that could happen if we elect a third party, we could be at war with a failing economy? wait, that already happened."

Also, I have answered the question "what was up with Jesse Ventura?" countless times in my university career, and have always said, "hey, he did what he promised, he did a lot of good things for the state," and he did. You don't have to be beholden to traditional party politics, just think like a Minnesotan!!

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Full text of the article:

July 5, 2009

Independence Days

Al Franken and the Odd Politics of Minnesota

By DAVID CARR

At the St. Paul Civic Center in 1982, what should have been a routine re-election convention for the Republican Gov. Albert Quie was underway, but he had dropped out before it had begun.

A newbie reporter to Minnesota politics, I watched as democracy broke out in earnest on the convention floor over the fight to replace him. There were walkouts, prayer meetings, candidacies that came and went in the blink of an eye, all perpetrated by delegates who had the stamina of Marines. Their various causes righteous, their faces flushed with excitement, they went into extra innings, deep into the night. My head spinning, I climbed up into the bleachers and sat near a shaggy-looking guy in a shiny hockey jacket from Anoka. We watched the full pageantry of electoral politics silently and then I finally looked down the row and spoke. “Is it always like this?”

“Yes,” the man said, turning toward me. I recognized him as someone who should know: Garrison Keillor.

Mr. Keillor was already on his way to legend as the host of “A Prairie Home Companion,” but there he was staring in fascination at one of the most rococo expressions of state democracy in the land. Lately, everyone else has been watching Minnesota politics as well because the race between the Republican senator Norman Coleman and Al Franken, the comedian and radio host, ended in a deadlock. (A third-party candidate, a frequent feature of Minnesota elections, altered the math.) After a ruling of the Minnesota Supreme Court on Tuesday, more than seven long months after the election, Mr. Franken will become Senator No. 60 for the Democrats, a significant number because it could help make the Senate filibuster-proof.

It may not be a stretch to say that the nation’s governance hinges, in part, on the arrival of the man who played Stuart Smalley, a simp who was a bit too eager to put the self in self-help on “Saturday Night Live.” On Wednesday, a question I knew was coming arrived from a friend on the bus: “What is up with Minnesota politics, anyway?”

To which I say, as opposed to what? New York? Florida? California? And as a former Minnesotan who lives in New Jersey, don’t even get me started about politics, Garden State-style.

Yes, Minnesotans vote like crazy. At 77.8 percent, the state had the highest turnout in last year’s very busy presidential election. But yes, sometimes Minnesotans’ votes seem just plain crazy as well.

Other states, other voters, express alienation by staying home on Election Day. But Minnesotans take a more civic approach to their estrangement, showing up at the polls and replacing the bums with some choices that scan as odd from a distance. (We might mention that the Minnesota state bird is actually a loon, but there is other less avian evidence of Minnesotans’ idiosyncrasy.)

In Minnesota, there is a kind of populist approach that is less progressive than a reflex, a notion that politics belongs to citizens, and politicians only rent their positions.

The civic entitlement-engagement of Minnesotans has produced lions on the national political scene — Hubert H. Humphrey and Eugene J. McCarthy — but is fungible enough to produce singular leaders of another sort. There is not only Mr. Franken, but Jesse Ventura, a former pro wrestler who ran as independent in 1998 on the Reform Party and won, dumbfounding the rest of the nation. There was also a dentist from the Iron Range, in the northeast part of the state, Rudy Perpich, who both preceded and followed Mr. Quie and was dubbed “Governor Goofy” by Newsweek for his suggestion that the governor’s mansion be sold and that a chopstick factory be built in northern Minnesota.

Even Senator Paul Wellstone, with his hippy bus of a campaign and outré commercials that took out a sitting senator in 1990, stretched the definition of what constitutes electability. And in the last election in adjoining Congressional districts, Minnesotans elected Keith Ellison, a liberal Democrat who happens to be both black and the first Muslim to be elected to Congress, and Michele Bachmann, a conservative who is an advocate of intelligent design and once entreated a rally against same-sex marriage to “cry out to a holy God.”

Here’s the thing about most of those folks: in the main, it could be argued, they did a pretty good job. Governor Ventura hired a talented crew of state commissioners and came flying off the turnbuckle when he needed to. Governor Perpich was one of the first governors in the nation to realize that international economic efforts by states were increasingly important. Senator Wellstone came swinging out of left field with a raging populist agenda, but promptly made peace with Senator Jesse Helms, the Republican from North Carolina, who made a much better friend than enemy when it came to getting things done.

Behind the state’s unpredictability, there are some political fundamentals at work.

Minnesota was settled by agrarian, church-going folks — Norwegians and Swedes, with many Germans as well, whose subsequent generations continue to take a dim view of political corruption and vote accordingly. The habits of civic life are baked in at early age, with churches and unions — historically strong in Minnesota — reminding members that voting is both an obligation and an opportunity. The presence of distinct regions with separate needs and political agendas — the average union member from the Iron Range has very different expectations from government than a mother from the populous suburbs that ring the Twin Cities — means that each regional constituency shows up at the polling place to make sure its interests are seen to.

In terms of process, Minnesota is deeply married to the precinct caucus approach, which means the grass roots flourish and frequently overwhelm would-be kingmakers. The state’s system of public financing means that anybody who gets organized enough to be in a race will have the wherewithal to campaign. And perhaps most important, Minnesota has same-day registration, which means that a walk-up vote can tilt an election, as it did when Governor Ventura won.

“There are numerous state laws, institutions, and processes that contribute to the highly engaged electorate that often votes independently,” said David Schultz, who teaches election law at Hamline University in St. Paul. “Yes, party membership is high, but there is a sufficiently large enough independent or swing voting bloc that no one party can win elections in a statewide election unless it wins crossover votes.”

Demographics provide very few clues. Overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly Protestant and Lutheran, the state has elected four Jews to the United States Senate in recent times. (Jews makes up less than 1 percent of the state’s population.)

“Because we think we’re such shrewd judges of human nature we’re intensely skeptical of everyone who looks and sounds like us and because we’re so proud of our broad-mindedness, we make a big show of embracing everyone who doesn’t seem like us,” said Brian Lambert, a radio personality and former media critic at The St. Paul Pioneer Press.

Remember that when Ross Perot ran for president as an independent in 1992 he received 24 percent of the state’s vote. Bill Hillsman, a political-advertising savant who helped invent Paul Wellstone, said that this kind of independent showing is less about third party than a third way into politics.

“The reason that different people break through in Minnesota politics is that there is a willingness to entertain a notion,” Mr. Hillsman said. “They look at candidates regardless of the conventional wisdom and orthodoxy.”

“Minnesota Nice” is real. It’s why you see seed art at the Minnesota State Fair, a popular local art form, expressing all kinds of political and cultural thinking. It’s hard to think of another state in the union where you’d see gay-themed art made out of mix of flax and corn seed.

“It is a state of deep contradictions,” said John Rash, an editorial board member of The Star Tribune of Minneapolis and a contributor to WCCO-AM, a radio beacon of all things Minnesotan. “There is a kind of prickly progressivism here. We are extremely reserved right up until we walk up to the ballot box.”

In 2005, I went back to Minnesota with Mr. Franken while he tested the waters for a run. In the past, he had been incredibly impolitic around a microphone —once suggesting that the only person with a lower poll rating than Newt Gingrich was the Unabomber — and had written an indelicately titled book called: “Lies (and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them).” But I found him remarkably skilled at retail politics: I watched him exchange jumper-cable stories with voters from northern Minnesota at a so-called “bean feed” fund-raiser. Still, as I dropped him off at the condo in downtown Minneapolis, I watched this short man with a backpack and no relevant political experience amble toward the front door and thought: “Could this wiseacre be the next senator from Minnesota?” The answer turned out to be yes.

And yes, Mr. Franken’s fast mouth carries with it the possibility of embarrassment, but as people who have to wear the equivalent of a spacesuit to go outside five months a year, Minnesotans are used to the mix of wonder and amusement their state engenders.

Like other curveballs thrown by the Minnesota electorate, Mr. Franken might figure it all out, because, as Stuart Smalley used to say: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.” At least in Minnesota.

Book Review: Poisonwood Bible

A couple of days ago I finished reading The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. I had entered into the book with some trepidation after seeing it on someones "worse books ever" list on Good Reads, but it is just proof that to each their own, as I found it interesting and compelling.

The Poisonwood Bible is the story of a Baptist preacher whon drags his wife and four daughters into Belgian Congo on a mission trip in 1959. It is told from the point of view of the women of the family (actually, mostly the daughters, while each section begins with a chapter, half narration, half philosophy and remembrance, by the mother). The father is a stubborn man, convinced of the superiority not only of the Lord and Jesus Christ, but also of his interpretation of Christianity, faith god's will, and his western ways.

The daughters are more or less, willing or unwilling, along for the ride. The family, of course, quickly discovers they had no idea what they were getting into, and they each deal with it in their own way. The youngest, Ruth May, sees it with a child's innocence and makes the best of it, loving to teach the children games and catching animals, not dwelling on the bad things. The eldest, 16 year old Rachel, despises the place and plays a stereotype- materialistic, racist, and ignorant, believing whatever the official story is and set on nothing more than returning to her own material comfort that she feels she deserves. The middle two, supposedly 15 years old, though to me Leah's section reads more like a 10 or 12-year-old each offer a unique voice. Leah is adventerous and eager to please, seeking approval from authority figures. Adah, a mute, is the closest the book has to an objective narrator, though of course she brings her own perspective as well.

The book was, of course, depressing. How could a book about the Belgian Congo (later Zaire, later Democratic Republic of Congo), not be depressing? There is a whole field of American history that is not taught, not publicized, that the average person does not even know exists - and it embodies among other things the horrible things that the American government did in the name of stopping "evil communism". Tearing down democratic regimes and replacing them with despots, as happened in the Congo and is discussed in the book, was par for the course. Arming rebels to start civil war was par for the course. Better a dictatorship than a socialist democracy was the theme. It was not until the 1990s that the U.S. begin to sing the policy of "freedom and democracy for everyone" so fervently. People do not know this. Die hard patriots do not think about this, about our historical hypocrisies and the way we destroyed so many lives. Some readers think that The Poisonwood Bible is too preachy, driving the point to far. If anything it does not drive it far enough. I wonder how many people read this book and still do not really understand the atrocity of what America did in this time period, the suffering we caused. It would be quite easy to read this book and focus so much on the personal tragedies and forget or lose the overarching tragedies.

Anyways, enough ranting. Some final quotations to finish off the post:

"Illusions mistaken for truth are the pavement under our feet. They are what we call civilization" - Adah

"To live is to change, to aquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know" - The Mother

Delinquencies, But, A Good Week

I have been somewhat delinquent in updating this blog and completely and utterly delinquent at updating my geography blog. I don't know why, just could not get the motivation.

But things are going quite well and I have been in the good mood. I am on a major reading-for-fun binge. I finished Transparent Things and am in the middle of Look at the Harlequins, both by Nabokov. I finished the poetry anthology. I am in the middle of Geography of Bliss for book club and Kiss for fun as well, with Brave New World anxiously waiting on my night stand for me to finish one of the others. I have become an even more active member of the site Good Reads and encourage anyone who loves reading or just wants to see what other people are reading or read book reviews to sign up. Its free, its easy, its fun.

On Tuesday I gave my last lecture of the quarter. It was on underdevelopment and civil war in Africa.Thursday I gave a review session and they did their teacher evaluations, which I look forward to seeing when the quarter is over. On Monday I give the final exam and also take my final exam in economics. Once I finish grading those Monday exams I am off until March 30th. Sweet.

I have been taking Grim to the dog park quite frequently, in fact I took her every night so far this week. She loves it and in a lot of ways it is easier to take her their than to walk her. We have become regulars, and so the other regulars are starting to get to know us. Grim is a very gentle play buddy. She usually is the largest dog, or one of the largest dogs there, but she also seems to be one of the gentlest with the small dogs. She loves to chase anything or anyone who runs, but she is not so interested in what happens if and when she catches them. Sometimes I think she prefers not to catch them. The one downside to all of this is her lack of coordination. If she is chasing a small dog and that small dog happens to stop without warning, she very well may run the dog over, even as she attempts to throw on the breaks or jump. But I would much rather have these unintentional habits than her being over aggressive or dominant towards other dogs.

Not much else going on. I am just in an overall good mood! DH has been playing a lot of World of War Craft and I am thinking of reactivating my account. I was disturbed by the school shooting in Germany and see it as a perverse sign of globalization. I think its hilarious that investors responded to news such as "G.E. lost its AAA credit rating, but only by one point, not by the ten points expected" by surging in the market. Well... an economic recovery has got to start somewhere. No big news on the job front for DH, but the contractor he previously worked for is back on the table (we thought they had decided on no new hires, but it seems quite the opposite). If he gets an offer from them he will find out about it on April 20th.

That's all for now folks.

Off the Deep End...

So, there have been two nights in the past week or so where I just did not sleep well, where I could not fall asleep properly, I tossed and turned and half-slept all night. I wake up after a night like that feeling more tired than when I laid down to go to sleep. Its not good. I am sort of... how should I say... HORRIBLE at dealing with sleep deprivation. Ask DH, I do not do well at all. I get extremely grumpy and hard to deal with.

In this case, the sleep deprivation is also manifesting itself as extreme goofiness. I spent yesterday afternoon in my friends office (the same one I rescued the bat with), talking nonsense and slowly shredding a coffee filter I found. To some of you that sounds like I have had a mental break I am sure, but for those of you who know me well you are probably just thinking, "OH, I know exactly what you mean, of course you were doing that." The fact is, when I am around people I know well, I don't really bother trying to censor the randomness, and when I am worn out or sleep deprived, that randomness is quite extreme.

Anyways, hopefully I can catch up on my sleep this weekend, though as usual, I have already filled up big parts of it - Rock Band on Friday night (with a smaller group this time then last week), a Wedding Shower/Party on Saturday night, and my Grandma's on Sunday.

In other news, after being publicly shamed, I finally met with W. You know, that guy my adviser yelled at me to meet with over a week ago. The public shaming took the form of a blog post that looked like this:

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Amanda!

Did you contact W yet? Don't make me hunt you down!

Posted by Adviser at 4:44 PM 0 comments <

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Yep. Public shaming. Pathetic part is I prefer the public shaming to the face to face discussion about it. LOL. So, I met with W and things are in order in that regard, no more need to hide from my adviser. I also turned in my first economics assignment. They are much easier this quarter than last quarter. I think that about sums up all the random stuff on this end of things.

Oh, and cheers to President Obama for stopping U.S. torture and starting the process of shutting down Guantanamo Bay! I am glad to see things changing for the better so fast with him in office!!

Obama's Inauguration

I watched Obama's inauguration today in the room in our building where talks are normally given. They streamed it from online and projected it onto the pull down screen. The room was filled with a haphazard gathering of those who could not make it home or to a party to watch (I am sure there were plenty of people in this department that were at parties for it).

It was amazing to see all the people gathered there infront of the capital to see him sworn in. This is history in the making. The vow he takes is simple and has lasted hundreds of years.

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

And thats that, he is the commander and chief! Its hard to wrap my head around. It is a very good feeling to have Obama officially in office. No more of this "president elect" crap, Bush had been so lame duck for so long, it was getting ridiculous. And now we have a President with a clear goal and a clear mandate, that is making history just by taking this oath. I am sure that fifty years from now my Grandchildren will study in school that Obama was the first black president, and I can tell them about the night he was elected and the day he was inaugurated. But more than anything, more than this giant step forward in equality, I hope that President Obama is remembered for much more than the color of his skin. I hope he is remembered for changing the course of history and bringing a new period to American politics. It is a lot to ask for, but I think he might be up to it.

Reality TV

I have never been ashamed to admit that I am addicted to reality TV.

Okay Okay... It has been a very long time since I was ashamed to admit I am addicted to reality TV. There were those times, back when it was first starting, that I claimed to denounce it. Then there was the period where I would choose one show and watch it and say "everyone has a guilty pleasure" and pretend its only that one show that had caught my interest. Now I am a full out addict and not at all ashamed of it.

So it should not surprise anyone to know I spent last night flipping between American Idol and Biggest Loser, or that I spent tonight watching American Idol, and then flipping between Top Chef and Real World (mostly watching Top Chef, but MTV filled in the commercials nicely for me).

So, why do I bring this all up you ask? (Yes, I heard you thinking it). I bring it up because I apparently have what is a politically incorrect or something view about one of the contestants on American Idol last night. If you watched it, you know the last contestant they showed last night is visually impaired. You also know they made a HUGE deal out of it, used it as a hook before every commercial, and then acted like it was a big sob story. And here is where I get politically incorrect, and you may think I am unsympathetic for saying it, but I was almost offended by the big deal they made. It was like "oh, look at this poor blind man and how he can do things like normal people, isn't it amazing."

I spent a summer working with visually impaired kids. They are not incapable. Some of them are more independent and capable than perfectly "normal" but lazy kids. I am not saying that the blind contestant did not overcome adversity, I am saying that visually impaired people are perfectly able to do most things. We should not be surprised or amazed that a visually impaired person is able to succeed, and that is why the story bothered me. It shouldn't be an interesting story that he was able to do this, of course he could do this.

And when people are voting (assuming he makes it through Hell week), I hope they don't say "oh, the blind singer, what an amazing story, I am going to vote for him," I hope they say "wow, he has a great voice, I think he was the best singer this week."

That is my reality television tirade for the week.

That, and why oh why could they not kick the silver team of Biggest Loser? They are annoying.

The End.

The Second Presidential Debate

Some quick thoughts on the debate before I hit the sack and forget everything I thought (although admittedly, I already have done economics homework between the debate and now so my brain is addled).

- Overall, based both just on watching the debate and on the CNN poll that was occurring during the debate, I think Obama came out on top.

- I feel like Obama is a much better speaker than John McCain even in this style of debate. Obama has a clear point that he makes in each snippet and he brings different arguments together smoothly. McCain has a tendency to wander or not have much of a single point to his speeches.

- I liked what McCain had to say about military spending reform. Too bad that is one of the only things I liked about what he said.

- McCain's body language and tone of voice following the social security question was downright offensive. He honestly thinks its that easy of a problem to solve? Then why hasn't he solved it yet! It was so condescending, and unnecessarily so.

- I have to question McCain's coaching. There are certain issues that it was clear he "lost" on in the first debate, such as the war in Iraq, yet he voluntarily brought these things up again as if they are his strong points. I am not sure that was such a wise decision. I also would be very curious, if anyone can answer, what exactly a "win" in Iraq would look like now.

- Overall, this debate was extremely tame, more of the same, which in the end favors Obama. It was pretty boring, especially given the importance of it. Also, I disliked Tom Brokaw hosting, I disliked the question selection (seriously? Is Russia an evil empire? Only a moron would say yes to that after the axis of evil debachle!), and I disliked the format in general. In the first debate, the format was way to relaxed and left the candidates trying to come up with crap to say. In this debate, the format was too short and choppy and it was hard for the candidates to get points across. I hope the third presidential debate is formatted like the vice presidential debate, which I thought went very smoothly.

Weekend? What Weekend?

The weekend flew by! I had stuff planned pretty much every minute of it, and even though I enjoyed everything I did was fun, it also made it feel like there was no weekend at all, because weekend means downtime, and I had none. On top of it all, I am sick (a cold), so I probably should have slowed down and given myself a chance to recover, but alas, I am too smart to do that.

Friday night, despite the fact we had a bit of a time crunch, I decided I really needed to make my cooking club recipe that I had all the ingredients for - Chicken Chili with Cornbread Topping. It was a lot of work, and it took longer than I was expecting. I planned for it to take an hour, which is a long time cooking, but it actually took more like an hour and a half. I also managed to make a massive mess of the kitchen and burn my arm pretty badly. The result? A tasty meal, but not nearly worth the time or effort.

Leaving the kitchen (and whole house actually) in complete shambles, we ran off to a debate party after eating. The debate was OK, marginally informative and lacking anything really exciting. I was very annoyed by McCain's condescending tones and continual inaccuracies regarding Obama's position and history. Of course, what I think does not really matter. What really matters on these debates is what swing voters think. I am definitely not a swing voter! The funny thing is, if McCain has been in the 2000 general election, I would have been a swing voter, but he has changed his tune SO much since then.

Saturday morning we got up early (early for Saturday at least), and headed to a friend's house via Dunkin' Donuts for a pre-game party. Mmm. Mimosa. We headed over the the game slightly later than intended and missed the pre-game band show (Script Ohio), which was unfortunate, but we can see it at the next game. The game itself was a lot of fun. Our seats are decent this year, and the team played well for the most part. Unfortunately, they stopped playing before the game ended. What should have or could have been a 34-6 game ended as 34-21. It is like I said before, if we truly want to be great, the team needs to play for themselves, not to the opponent. Its still not happening. I was happy to see the other college football scores. USC, Florida, and Georgia were all upset. The more good teams lose, the more chance we have of ending up higher in the polls by the end of the season. Despite the fact that by the end of the game I was a miserable pile of snot, I could not resist going out to dinner. After a quick shower we met everyone again for dinner at Applebees. It was tasty and fun. However, after dinner my condition deteriorated rapidly and I was quite miserable all evening.

Sunday morning I got up, and since I felt mostly better, elected to go on my planned girls-day out shopping trip to the Jefforsonville Outlet Center. It was a fun day and a successful shopping trip. I got a much needed pair of pants and shoes, along with a skirt that my friends thought looked terrible on the rack but looked great on (as I predicted). I successfully resisted buying a new Fossil wallet and was highly tempted by but never actually considered a super cute and bright Fossil purse. Once again, by the time we got back I was a miserable pile of snot. So miserable I cancelled my evening plans and vegged out, falling asleep for the night before 11pm.

Now its back to the school week, and into the real bulk of what I will be doing this quarter. My oral exams are now officially scheduled for Monday, October 13th at 10am. Its kind of a cool date, 10-13, its a running number used in the X-Files, so maybe that is good luck or something. I think I have actually made it through most of the beginning of the quarter bureaucracy. I am registered for classes, have paid my fees, picked up my football tickets, canceled insurance, sorted out my generals, and applied to graduate (aka, get my Masters) contingents on my exams. Onward to more useful things!!

Thoughts on 9/11, Seven Years Out

I was not planning to post about the fact it is September 11th. In fact, I was specifically avoiding posting about it. But then I got sucked in to watching this video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkThGE6v7t0, and now I pretty much have to post.

Watching this video made me cry, and I am not much of a crier at all. Seeing the plane crash into the towers, seeing the towers fall, knowing that they were filled with thousands of normal people just going about their normal daily business... that was a horrible day.

But it also inspired many other emotions -mainly, anger. All of those quotes from leaders "we will find the terrorists", "we will back the president," all these promises, all this crap. Looking back to 9/11 also reminds me of all the horrible things that have happened since then... how we never really pursued preventing terrorism in a meaningful way, how we never found Bin Laden and are still struggling to bring order to Afghanistan but don't have enough troops because we burst into a perfectly sovereign country with no meaningful link whatsoever to international terrorism, how the war in Iraq has actually increased terrorism, how the reason we are in Iraq is because the president lied to us and played on peoples genuine fears and emotions with false information and fear mongering, and how the rest of those people responsible for protecting us - the Congress, Colin Powell, etc, just went blindly along with these lies out of fear of being labelled unpatriotic. It just makes remember how pointless so much of the violence in the world right now is, especially the violence that that U.S. is involved in, and brings me a whole other kind of sadness.

And then, thinking of the vote in congress... and how 3/4 of both the senate and the house voted to go to war in Iraq despite the fact that there was no real evidence supporting the invasion and it flew in the face of international norms. I get mad that so many of these people are still in power, especially in the executive but also in Congress. I find a fury pride in the fact that both Minnesotan Senators, Paul Wellstone and Mark Dayton, voted against war. And then of course comes the sadness thinking of Paul Wellstone's sudden, unexpected death when he is one of the few Washington politicians I truly respected, "Never separate the life you live from the words you speak." I love that quote. Yes. My emotional/mental connections got the best of me today.

Anyways... my point is this. I want a government that respects these freedom it claims to be defending, that acts wisely on the international stage to bring those who actually perpetrate terrorism to justice while still earning respect and focusing on peace, that brings the country together in pride, not in fear. I cannot believe that we have been dealing with this terrible situation, the fear mongering, the lies, the abuses, the tension, for seven years. I can only hope that the next president, whoever he may be, and the next Congress collectively, will find a way to move this country forward away from this twisted legacy of 9/11 and towards something we can be proud of.