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In high school we used to make list of "happy thoughts". These were lists of little things (or big things) that made us smile. They were chalked full of inside jokes, crushes, and other typical high school nonsense. I think though that the idea is a good one - a list of reminders of things that are good in life instead of just complaints. But, in order for a happy thoughts list to be effective at the moment I think I need to vent a few other things.

I have just sort of been in a funk. No really telling exactly why, though I have my suspicions. A cloud was cast over the weekend because on Thursday night River bit me. Now, River has bit me before, but this time was different. As usual, it involved resource guarding. We were in the bedroom and Grim had a nice rawhide. River had her own rawhide, but that hardly matters it seems. Anyways, River attacked Grim, I pulled her off. All of this is fairly standard at our house unfortunately. In the past when I have been bitten I have literally stuck my leg inbetween the dogs or some such thing in order to break up the fight. This time I had already pulled river off Grim and had her five feet away, off the bed, when she spun in her collar and bit my arm. Don't worry, its not serious. A nasty bruise, a cut that looks like it is nothing but bled a bit more than expected. Now all healing. We already have had issues with River, clearly, but this indecent throws into serious question whether we will be able to keep her in the long run. Aaron and I are not scared of River and feel no immediate threat. She still has not shown direct human aggression. We can still literally take food or rawhide out of her mouth if we want without being bitten. BUT, when happens if she is not so respectful of other people? If she does not see them as dominant/in charge as she does us? Especially with regards to kids. So... who knows that we will do. We are controlling the resources more. We are not giving her an inch in terms of rawhide or food. She now eats separately and chews rawhide separately from Grim. We of course will probably be doing more obedience. But ultimately I don't think any of these things actually solve the problem. She is resource aggressive towards other dogs, and when she gets wound up over this she snaps at anything that gets near her. Controlling the resources or teaching her to sit on command is not going to change this. I guess its just an issue we will deal with when we get there however.

I bet some of you are wondering why you did not hear about this sooner, thinking "I SPOKE with her on the phone, why did she not mention it?". I didn't mention it because I don't like retelling it over and over. I don't like the look of the people (or silence on the phone?) as they wait for me to account for what we are going to do about it. Lets just say it involves a lot of issues that are close to the heart.

Ok, so besides River, there has been some negativity at work. There was a contest for unit decoration my unit feels was unfairly judged, a meeting with the administration that turned into a complaint fest, and other various little things. Nothing major, just little bits here and there. Also, I have been having some difficulty concentrating at work. I used to always be ahead or at least caught up, but I have not been working as hard and therefore have not been as caught up, and I am not sure why, or how to fix it. (Note, I am still way ahead of the average, just not up to my own standards and abilities). This may be as much a symptom as a cause, who knows.

I have not hosted or had people over in FOREVER. I feel like the carpet in the front room has to be replaced or removed before I am comfortable having people over. It is in bad shape thanks to the combine efforts of the animals, to the point it is embarrassing. I am already up to $900 for its replacement (I am saving up my overtime), so we are getting there, but it would just make me really happy to have it taken care of.

As far as Halloween, I have just not been as into it as normal. I did not have any desire to host my usual pumpkin carving party (and didn't). I did not even carve my own pumpkin. I did not get a costume yet, though we have a working idea. I am at least excited for the halloween party. I uncharacteristically have the urge to pull out all my Christmas stuff 2 months early and start decorating for that. I have NO IDEA why. I mean, normally I am all about Halloween, and then Thanksgiving, and only want to decorate for Christmas when the time comes. But right now I seriously think some green and red would make things look nicer.

I am not excited about things I am reading. I have just completed two books (How Proust Can Change Your Life and Blood Diamonds) that are one star reads. My next two books are book club books. One is a re-read, which is a very good book but I am not in the mood for re-reads. The other is a new read but its by an author I have read before and found to be just OK.

I originally was going to start this post with complaints and end it with a list of happy thoughts, but it appears that I am just not in the mood for the good part (big surprise). The two main things that were going to be on the happy thoughts list though:

- Tomorrow is Rockbandholiday (Rockband 3 comes out)
- I get to go home to Duluth in 3.5 weeks