DH and I started hoping I would get pregnant again pretty much the day my son was born. We had heard the stories - how sometimes people who struggled with primary fertility (first time), had no issues the second time around. We wanted to be that couple. The freak small percentage who get pregnant again before they even get their normal cycles back. Irish Twins were on my mind. I think the main reason I wanted this so badly is because I was so afraid of the opposite... of a long secondary infertility struggle (secondary meaning after a successful first child) that would result in months (years) of heartache and maybe leave Benjamin an only child. I was relieved when at my 6 week post-partum check my nurse understood why we didn't want birth control and didn't push the issue. That said, I knew it was unlikely. Breast feeding is about 85% effective as birth control, and when you add our history of infertility on to that, I knew it probably wasn't happening. But a girl can dream.
Our infertility is unexplained, like many other couples. This means that
the doctors cannot give a concrete reason things aren't working, time just shows they aren't. Because of this non-diagnosis, we
decided to not jump right back to IF treatment, but rather to give
mother nature a bit of a chance. So, when my period returned 6m post-partum, the real journey began. We officially (not just in my fantasy world) returned to TTC (trying to conceive). Any woman who has ever tried to get pregnant knows what this means to some degree. Its a stressful time, and every month that passes with a BFN (big fat negative) is more stressful, and more depressing. Let me tell you... it IS easier the second time around. It is easier being disappointed month after month when you can turn away from the bathroom and watch your son run laughing down the hall. But its still hard. I found my "symptoms" ... my infertility mindset, returning piece by piece. Bitterness. Anger. Frustration. They really came back into full swing around July 2013, when we had officially been trying a year with no success (this is the definition of infertility... a year of trying with no success). No longer was I experiencing "probable" secondary infertility, now it was real. Any doctor would refer me to a specialist and suggest I start considering my options for treatment. I found myself having extremely selective jealousy. I didn't fault first time mom's for having their first child, but man, all those women with toddlers around Benjamin's age who had already provided a sibling or were announcing their pregnancies? That stung, that stung a lot.
As we approached the end of the year, we also approached the "time limit" we had agreed upon for letting nature take its course. Anticipating IF Treatment in 2014, we changed insurance providers to one that has some coverage. I started to give up. Even as I was eager to stop facing month after month of bad outcome, I started to dread all of the appointments and stress that goes along with treatment. Every passing day I was less convinced we could avoid treatment, but I still procrastinated on making the call to set up that first appointment. The thing about IF treatment is that is simultaneously offers more hope, and means your closer to the point where nothing more can be done. This is especially true in our case where we know exactly what treatment we would be trying, and, if it fails, how bad it would be for us emotionally, and how much "back at the beginning" we would be.
November came. Two months left before our time limit. November went, and my cycle didn't end. I still was getting a negative pregnancy test, but something was obviously not right. Finally, several days late, my period came, and was very light. I highly suspected an anovulatory cycle (no ovulation - no chance of pregnancy). Of all the problems I was used to facing, I had always believed I had at least a chance every month, so to find out that in November I hadn't even had a shred of a chance was crushing. I emailed the doctor and asked for an infertility appointment. I had pretty much lost all hope of getting pregnant on my own and was at a pretty low point.
December proceeded. I focused on the holidays and travel plans. TTC was still on the back of my mind (isn't it always), but felt pointless. We traveled down to Kansas and had a fun Christmas with my In Laws, and I enjoyed time as a family trying mostly not to think about our infertility struggle, hard to do when there is an 8 day old baby at the family party, but it was a great trip.
We got home (in stages). I had people over for a fun game night on New Years. We celebrated Benjamin's second birthday. Our guests all left and we prepared ourselves to settle back into our normal routine. My infertility appointment was scheduled for Monday, January 6th, first thing in the morning. I was two or three days late and assumed I was having another annovulatory cycle. On Monday morning though, just to make sure I had all the information for my doctors appointment, I decided to take a pregnancy test.
It is hard to explain to people how much of a shock/surprise it was that the test came up positive. I can almost feel people thinking "but you were trying" "but your period was late" when I tell them this story. But, it was truly the shock of my life. When you have actively tried to get pregnant for 48 months of your life, and took many many many pregnancy tests that were all negative, over and over and over, when you have given up hope and assumed that it was time to move into treatment,when you have just came off of one of the more devastating cycles the month before, that second faintly pink line is truly unbelievable. It is the first positive pregnancy test I have seen in person in my life. We didn't have one with Benjamin because we had blood work done instead. When that second line showed up, I started shaking. I stood there in my bath robe starring at it, waiting for it to disappear, thinking "this cannot be real, no way is this real". My first impulse was to not tell DH, but to go get it confirmed by my doctor. I didn't believe it and didn't want to drag him into the "false" hope. But, rationality one out. I knew that pregnancy tests have virtually no false positives, that even though I couldn't believe it I was most certainly pregnant, and he would want to know (had a RIGHT to know). So, I went and got him out of the bedroom. I said "can you come here for a minute?". He came into the bathroom and I pointed at the test. I think he was in as much shock as me, but more excited/less paranoid! (You would have to ask him). He was thrilled. I told him that I would go to my doctors appointment and get blood work done to make sure it all added up. And we very anxiously/excitedly went on with our morning.
I can tell you, I shocked the nurse practitioner when I said "I know this appointment is for infertility consult, but I took a pregnancy test this morning and I am pregnant". She was thrilled for us and obliged with a blood draw, and got me an appointment with the OBGYN office. Noon that day I checked my online blood results and got confirmation that indeed I was pregnant. DH of course started telling work IMMEDIATELY. He called and told his parents too. He can't keep secrets, and I knew that even though I was nervous, keeping it secret wouldn't do any good or make it easier if something didn't turn out. So, I texted all my closest friends, and we went and told my parents that evening (and called siblings). The rest is history (I actually might write a whole second post about how this pregnancy has felt emotionally different then the last, but I think this post has grown long enough).
One last list of funny/weird/ironic things:
Things I did in the 10 days before finding out I was pregnant -
- Pulled out a big unpacked box of clothes from our crawl space, intending to purge and re-pack it. Most of it is maternity clothes.
- Bitterly took "Your going to use the Potty" and left "Your going to be a Big Brother" in the kids section at the libary.
- Told my mother-in-law "There is NO WAY I am pregnant", despite being in my two week wait, because I had totally given up hope.
- (This is the weirdest, in my opinion) Found an "I'm a Big Brother!" Sweatshirt in my sons room. It was a hand-me-down freebie that I had not taken out because it obviously didn't apply. I assume the cats dragged it out of his closet while we were out of town.
Also, when we told my parents I was pregnant, my mom said that several months ago we had asked DH when we would be having a second. She says that DH told her "January". DH does not remember this. I assumed he meant that is when we would start IF treatment, but its still kinda weird.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Spring Festival/Easter 2014
I didn't do much to prepare for Easter this year. Heck, we didn't tell Benjamin what the Easter bunny is until last night. Yet it still turned out to be a great holiday.
On Saturday, after what now is our routine of swimming lesson followed by Starbucks followed by the library...
Allow me to digress. Hilarious conversation with Benjamin right after swimming.
Ben: I want to go to the Library
DH: The library is closed. We will go to Starbucks first, then the Library will be open.
Ben: No! Starbucks is closed. The library is open. I want to go to the library.
Me: Benjamin, that's not how language works.
Ben: Yes that IS how language works.
and also after a nap for Benjamin, we headed out to my parents house for an Easter Egg Dyeing party. The adults got set up in the living room doing Ukrainian Easter Eggs (also known as Pysanka) while we set up the traditional PAAS dyes for Benjamin in the kitchen. (Meanwhile, the majority of the family dogs raced around outside and found some deer parts to chew on). The guest list included my parents, older sister, her husband, her FIL, MIL, and Grandma IL, my brother and his wife, my little sister, and us three. I have discussed Ukrainian eggs before. Its an old art form that involves covering an egg in wax to preserve one color dye before dipping it in the next color. It is a lot of fun. We seem to manage to do it about every other year.
Ben and egg dye... that was hilarious. We had both the regular dye kit, as well as these painting devices from PAAS. Benjamin did not understand he should be careful with the eggs. The first couple he pretty much dropped from 6 inches into the cups. I am sure it didn't help that this cracked us all up. Also, he kept tasting the dye. The boy must like vinegar. Once he had an egg in all six cups, he said "are we done?" and ran off. Then, when he figured out we could CHOOSE when to take the eggs out, he proceeded to leave them in for a LOOOOONG time. There were four eggs that he left in the dye so long that they were actually having dye peel off of them when we tried to dry them off. LOL! The painting devices... I think they call them Color Snaps, they are pretty cool. Its basically like a quip-tip that is pre-filled with dye, and when you snap them open the dye flows into one end of the quip-tip turning it into a paintbrush. This means you can add the spots and strips to the eggs easily (you know, like how Easter eggs are always portrayed in books). The one egg Benjamin used these on is gorgeous. Unfortunately he also decided to put it in his mouth, dyeing himself bright green/blue, so we decided not to do anymore. I plan to get more of these for sure for next year.
Saturday night when I was putting Benjamin's pajamas on, I explained that tomorrow was Easter, that the Easter bunny would come and hide eggs and leave him treats. His immediate reaction was fear ("I don't want the bunny to come"), but after some discussion of the fact the bunny was nice, and there would be candy involved, he decided it was OK.
This morning Benjamin got up around 7. At first he wanted to stay up stairs and read books (pretty typical), but then we reminded him about Easter and he was so gung-ho he didn't even want to bring his stuffed friends down (not typical). He walked down the steps and immediately spotted the Easter Eggs. He chose one, picked it up and opened it, found the M&M inside, looked at me as he acted like he was going to put it in his mouth. I nodded, he put it in, bit into it, and a BIG grin spread across his face. Really big. Funny how fast he found more eggs after that! He shared his M&Ms with us and was very excited and smiley. We helped him find some of the harder eggs. When they were all found we opened a couple of gifts from his Grandparents (my ILs). They got him a copy of "What does the Fox Say" picture book, as well as The Fox and the Hound Disney movie, both to go along with his requested stuffed fox, which he is absolutely in love with. (There were other gifts for the family as well, thank you N&N!!). What great gift choices. We read the book pretty much immediately, listened to the song and danced around, and then a bit later watched a good chunk of the movie, which he really paid attention to.
After a morning nap for Benjamin (not the usual routine but we wanted to squeeze it in), we headed up to Two Harbors to go for Easter Brunch. The resort had lots of stuffed animals (as in formerly living, now stuffed), and Ben loved looking at them. Unfortunately he wasn't very interested in eating, which is sort of a theme now. After that we took him back to my parents house, stuck some rain boots over his dress clothes, and let him play in the mud. The weather was SO gorgeous. It was nice to just sit outside in the sun and soak up the rays. It was a really great Easter.
------
For those of you who have stuck with it this long. I am sure you already know this, I have announced it pretty much everywhere EXCEPT here. It seems fitting, on this day that celebrates Spring Renewal, new life and fertility, that I take the final steps in making public that I am expecting a baby! Due date is September 12th, meaning I am 18w2d today. This has been part of the cause of my blog silence. Hard to talk about my life when there is something so big I didn't want to post about yet.
On Saturday, after what now is our routine of swimming lesson followed by Starbucks followed by the library...
Allow me to digress. Hilarious conversation with Benjamin right after swimming.
Ben: I want to go to the Library
DH: The library is closed. We will go to Starbucks first, then the Library will be open.
Ben: No! Starbucks is closed. The library is open. I want to go to the library.
Me: Benjamin, that's not how language works.
Ben: Yes that IS how language works.
and also after a nap for Benjamin, we headed out to my parents house for an Easter Egg Dyeing party. The adults got set up in the living room doing Ukrainian Easter Eggs (also known as Pysanka) while we set up the traditional PAAS dyes for Benjamin in the kitchen. (Meanwhile, the majority of the family dogs raced around outside and found some deer parts to chew on). The guest list included my parents, older sister, her husband, her FIL, MIL, and Grandma IL, my brother and his wife, my little sister, and us three. I have discussed Ukrainian eggs before. Its an old art form that involves covering an egg in wax to preserve one color dye before dipping it in the next color. It is a lot of fun. We seem to manage to do it about every other year.
Ben and egg dye... that was hilarious. We had both the regular dye kit, as well as these painting devices from PAAS. Benjamin did not understand he should be careful with the eggs. The first couple he pretty much dropped from 6 inches into the cups. I am sure it didn't help that this cracked us all up. Also, he kept tasting the dye. The boy must like vinegar. Once he had an egg in all six cups, he said "are we done?" and ran off. Then, when he figured out we could CHOOSE when to take the eggs out, he proceeded to leave them in for a LOOOOONG time. There were four eggs that he left in the dye so long that they were actually having dye peel off of them when we tried to dry them off. LOL! The painting devices... I think they call them Color Snaps, they are pretty cool. Its basically like a quip-tip that is pre-filled with dye, and when you snap them open the dye flows into one end of the quip-tip turning it into a paintbrush. This means you can add the spots and strips to the eggs easily (you know, like how Easter eggs are always portrayed in books). The one egg Benjamin used these on is gorgeous. Unfortunately he also decided to put it in his mouth, dyeing himself bright green/blue, so we decided not to do anymore. I plan to get more of these for sure for next year.
Saturday night when I was putting Benjamin's pajamas on, I explained that tomorrow was Easter, that the Easter bunny would come and hide eggs and leave him treats. His immediate reaction was fear ("I don't want the bunny to come"), but after some discussion of the fact the bunny was nice, and there would be candy involved, he decided it was OK.
This morning Benjamin got up around 7. At first he wanted to stay up stairs and read books (pretty typical), but then we reminded him about Easter and he was so gung-ho he didn't even want to bring his stuffed friends down (not typical). He walked down the steps and immediately spotted the Easter Eggs. He chose one, picked it up and opened it, found the M&M inside, looked at me as he acted like he was going to put it in his mouth. I nodded, he put it in, bit into it, and a BIG grin spread across his face. Really big. Funny how fast he found more eggs after that! He shared his M&Ms with us and was very excited and smiley. We helped him find some of the harder eggs. When they were all found we opened a couple of gifts from his Grandparents (my ILs). They got him a copy of "What does the Fox Say" picture book, as well as The Fox and the Hound Disney movie, both to go along with his requested stuffed fox, which he is absolutely in love with. (There were other gifts for the family as well, thank you N&N!!). What great gift choices. We read the book pretty much immediately, listened to the song and danced around, and then a bit later watched a good chunk of the movie, which he really paid attention to.
After a morning nap for Benjamin (not the usual routine but we wanted to squeeze it in), we headed up to Two Harbors to go for Easter Brunch. The resort had lots of stuffed animals (as in formerly living, now stuffed), and Ben loved looking at them. Unfortunately he wasn't very interested in eating, which is sort of a theme now. After that we took him back to my parents house, stuck some rain boots over his dress clothes, and let him play in the mud. The weather was SO gorgeous. It was nice to just sit outside in the sun and soak up the rays. It was a really great Easter.
------
For those of you who have stuck with it this long. I am sure you already know this, I have announced it pretty much everywhere EXCEPT here. It seems fitting, on this day that celebrates Spring Renewal, new life and fertility, that I take the final steps in making public that I am expecting a baby! Due date is September 12th, meaning I am 18w2d today. This has been part of the cause of my blog silence. Hard to talk about my life when there is something so big I didn't want to post about yet.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Hodge Podge
So, its been over a month since I got on here. I haven't been doing much besides wasting time!! Life is like that sometimes. I am posting because I feel like I should, not because I have a purpose, so bear with me.
A lot has happened in the last month. Most recently, we have been battling a string of diseases and health issues. None of it has been serious, just annoying. Ben was kicked out daycare for a day or two last week, and I will be surprised if he makes it through this coming week without getting kicked out at least once. We will see what happens. Hopefully we all feel better soon.
After a month of more harsh winter weather, another blizzard that really buried us, and many many many more days of subzero temperatures, today is warm. Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer, and Monday practically tropical (I have heard the temperature 50 mentioned in some forecasts!). After even one day of the warmth you can see the snow levels dropping, the banks are not quite as high. I have no delusion that winter is over. I am sure we will still get some more snow and some cold temperatures, but its nice to have a break and be unburied a little. In related news, the roof coils which I so hastily installed in October (or was that November?) on our porch roof have been working nicely. We haven't had any dripping through the porch roof (its outside, but still not good), and while there is a lot of snow/ice up there, its not as much as last year.
We watched a fun independent movie on Netflix yesterday. Its kinda old - 2008, called Bottle Shock. It was pretty amusing, and I would recommend it to most of my friends. The only flaw is the resolution of the romantic element, but that is really a tiny part of the overall movie. If anyone else has seen it, I would love to discuss it. It has Alan Rickman, so you can't go wrong. I also watched a romantic comedy with David Tenant. It was pretty decent. I think my new criteria for choosing movies might be what British actors they have.
Speaking of movies, I also enjoyed watching the Oscars. Ellen was an amusing (though sometimes cheesy) host. I loved the pizza delivery stunt, and love even more that they had an actual pizza delivery guy. The main reason I am sticking this in here is because I can imagine reading back through this blog ten years from now (its pretty much my journal) and getting a laugh out of remembering this particular Oscar ceremony.
I have other topics brewing in my mind - something about "mommy culture" perhaps, some thoughts on reading/fiction in my life, some music commentary and of course, Benjamin updates along with other fun news. Sometime I will get around to posting some of it.
A lot has happened in the last month. Most recently, we have been battling a string of diseases and health issues. None of it has been serious, just annoying. Ben was kicked out daycare for a day or two last week, and I will be surprised if he makes it through this coming week without getting kicked out at least once. We will see what happens. Hopefully we all feel better soon.
After a month of more harsh winter weather, another blizzard that really buried us, and many many many more days of subzero temperatures, today is warm. Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer, and Monday practically tropical (I have heard the temperature 50 mentioned in some forecasts!). After even one day of the warmth you can see the snow levels dropping, the banks are not quite as high. I have no delusion that winter is over. I am sure we will still get some more snow and some cold temperatures, but its nice to have a break and be unburied a little. In related news, the roof coils which I so hastily installed in October (or was that November?) on our porch roof have been working nicely. We haven't had any dripping through the porch roof (its outside, but still not good), and while there is a lot of snow/ice up there, its not as much as last year.
We watched a fun independent movie on Netflix yesterday. Its kinda old - 2008, called Bottle Shock. It was pretty amusing, and I would recommend it to most of my friends. The only flaw is the resolution of the romantic element, but that is really a tiny part of the overall movie. If anyone else has seen it, I would love to discuss it. It has Alan Rickman, so you can't go wrong. I also watched a romantic comedy with David Tenant. It was pretty decent. I think my new criteria for choosing movies might be what British actors they have.
Speaking of movies, I also enjoyed watching the Oscars. Ellen was an amusing (though sometimes cheesy) host. I loved the pizza delivery stunt, and love even more that they had an actual pizza delivery guy. The main reason I am sticking this in here is because I can imagine reading back through this blog ten years from now (its pretty much my journal) and getting a laugh out of remembering this particular Oscar ceremony.
I have other topics brewing in my mind - something about "mommy culture" perhaps, some thoughts on reading/fiction in my life, some music commentary and of course, Benjamin updates along with other fun news. Sometime I will get around to posting some of it.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Genius... but not.
Benjamin's quote of the week - "Cows don't drink water. Cows drink milk, people drink water". This of course was said in the "mama this book is being silly" voice. The astounding thing about this to me is that its a complex logic and verbal sentence, impressive for a two year old, but so hilariously wrong. We tried to explain that everything (all animals) drink water, but he wasn't buying it.
In other "genius... but not" - We argued with Benjamin this week about whether it could be both Tuesday and Friday at the same time. He thinks all negotiation is possible, that everyone can be right. If he doesn't like your answer, he doesn't insist upon his own but rather merges the two. On that particular morning, I asked him "Do you know what day it is?" (he virtually never gets this right... but I think its good to talk about the days of the week), and he answered Friday. I said "no, its Tuesday! Today you go to daycare and we go to work". He said "It's FridayTuesday"... couldn't convince him otherwise!! He is starting to also have an opinion about what time it is - which is apparently always "Eleven". I told him today "it's not eleven, it's two O-eight. His reply? "It's eleven O-Eight"
The puzzling continues. Last Sunday, for the first time, we got out a floor puzzle he got for his Birthday. It is 24 pieces and is a cartoon style map of the US with little graphics all over it that characterize the states etc. By Thursday he was doing it entirely on his own. Of course, half the time he still insists on our help even though he is better at his puzzles than DH is.
Benjamin likes to point out violin's in pictures. There are a lot of alphabet things that have violin for V. Sesame street consistently has Elmo playing a violin as their "v"picture. In the above mentioned puzzle Tennessee has a guitar on it. Benjamin think's its a violin. We tried to explain the difference several times, and even showed him videos of guitars and violins. When we played the violin video for him he said it was "singing" and was totally fascinated. Today he told me he want's to play the violin. It would be awesome if he still feels that way in a year when he is old enough to possible start lessons! I really need to get my violin out and tuned up to show him and keep his musical interest alive.
I know.. .another kid "brag" post! Some day I will come up with something else to write about, but that day is not today.
In other "genius... but not" - We argued with Benjamin this week about whether it could be both Tuesday and Friday at the same time. He thinks all negotiation is possible, that everyone can be right. If he doesn't like your answer, he doesn't insist upon his own but rather merges the two. On that particular morning, I asked him "Do you know what day it is?" (he virtually never gets this right... but I think its good to talk about the days of the week), and he answered Friday. I said "no, its Tuesday! Today you go to daycare and we go to work". He said "It's FridayTuesday"... couldn't convince him otherwise!! He is starting to also have an opinion about what time it is - which is apparently always "Eleven". I told him today "it's not eleven, it's two O-eight. His reply? "It's eleven O-Eight"
The puzzling continues. Last Sunday, for the first time, we got out a floor puzzle he got for his Birthday. It is 24 pieces and is a cartoon style map of the US with little graphics all over it that characterize the states etc. By Thursday he was doing it entirely on his own. Of course, half the time he still insists on our help even though he is better at his puzzles than DH is.
Benjamin likes to point out violin's in pictures. There are a lot of alphabet things that have violin for V. Sesame street consistently has Elmo playing a violin as their "v"picture. In the above mentioned puzzle Tennessee has a guitar on it. Benjamin think's its a violin. We tried to explain the difference several times, and even showed him videos of guitars and violins. When we played the violin video for him he said it was "singing" and was totally fascinated. Today he told me he want's to play the violin. It would be awesome if he still feels that way in a year when he is old enough to possible start lessons! I really need to get my violin out and tuned up to show him and keep his musical interest alive.
I know.. .another kid "brag" post! Some day I will come up with something else to write about, but that day is not today.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
2014 RESOLUTION - KEEP IT SIMPLE
I only have one resolution for 2014. It is this. SIMPLIFY.
What does this mean? I started with just the word Simplify, then I brainstormed a list of other words that described what I want to accomplish this year.
simplify
less
prioritize
purge
clean
organized
free
release
punctual
Then I expanded this to phrases.
live with less
minimize procrastination
maintain what we do have
don't accumulate more
get rid of what we don't need
stay on schedule
embrace adulthood
live our priorities
have a family plan
let go of the old
Sounds easy, right? I have some specific projects in mind - like pairing down my wardrobe to fit in the space I have, and getting rid of a lot of the sentimental stuff jammed away into crawl spaces. But, I want it to be more than just projects. We will see how it goes! I have already used the idea of simplifying to make buying decisions this year (for example, in the post-Christmas sales, only buying a handful of items that I know what I am going to do with, not stuff just because its cheap and we could use it). So my goal for the year is to really just try to change the way I approach problems and life and apply the rule of simplicity to it. That is the resolution!
What does this mean? I started with just the word Simplify, then I brainstormed a list of other words that described what I want to accomplish this year.
simplify
less
prioritize
purge
clean
organized
free
release
punctual
Then I expanded this to phrases.
live with less
minimize procrastination
maintain what we do have
don't accumulate more
get rid of what we don't need
stay on schedule
embrace adulthood
live our priorities
have a family plan
let go of the old
Sounds easy, right? I have some specific projects in mind - like pairing down my wardrobe to fit in the space I have, and getting rid of a lot of the sentimental stuff jammed away into crawl spaces. But, I want it to be more than just projects. We will see how it goes! I have already used the idea of simplifying to make buying decisions this year (for example, in the post-Christmas sales, only buying a handful of items that I know what I am going to do with, not stuff just because its cheap and we could use it). So my goal for the year is to really just try to change the way I approach problems and life and apply the rule of simplicity to it. That is the resolution!
Goals - Past and Present
Here are the goals I had for 2013, and how I did on them:
1. READ - Read 48 Books - of which, 10 should be books I already own, 10 should be published in 2013, and 5 should be books that were recommended to me in 2011 that I failed to tackle.
Yeah.... not so much. I don't think I read ANY books that were published this year, or ones that were recommended to me. Overall, I read 35 books. Not bad, not my goal.
2. HEALTH - Do not drink soda. Period. Only exception I can think of is extreme illness like I had two weeks ago where Soda was the only thing giving me calories. Otherwise, no Soda. At all. Start to walk at work 20-30 minutes a day. Train for the inline marathon (we will see if I can do it). Eat more varied dinners and get out of the ground beef rut. I want to feel strong again. Get a physical and go to the dentist. Cut back on or even eliminate caffeine (should be easier now that I won't be having soda!)
I did OK on this, didn't get everything done, but I did some of it. I did pretty good on the Soda ban, I really hardly drank any until about November, and then I caved, but now I view soda as a treat, not a daily habit, so I would say mission accomplished. I did walk at work a lot... but haven't recently and should start it back up (especially since my Dr just reminded me how important it is). I also did the In Line marathon. I did not cut back on caffeine and I did not really improve the variety/nature of our dinners.
3. COMMUNICATE - Get skype set up with the ILs. Send out appropriate greeting cards (Sorry no Xmas card this past year...). Re-connect to some people from Cbus I have failed to chat with this year. Go on more date nights with DH. Make some new connections here in Duluth.
I did get Skype going w the ILs there for awhile, but broke the habit when we went and visited them at Christmas! The rest of these, I fail.
Besides these goals, I of course had the 30x30 list to be getting on with. As time has passed, they pretty much have broken down into a few categories...
DONE (27%)
- Buy a home that may be our forever home
- Inline Skate a Marathon
- Go shopping at the mall of America
- Read War and Peace
- Dye my Hair Red
- Do a long trail ride with a "scary" hill
- Learn to Like Mushrooms
- Hike a specific section of the Superior Hiking Trail
HAVE BECOME IMPOSSIBLE (27%)
- Have a second child - you guys would know if I was going to have a baby by May
- Do 100 Hrs of Community Service. It would have had to be spread out, I can't cram that into 5 months.
- Go Out on Lake Superior in a Boat. Its under ice... don't think it will be a pleasant experience by the end of May/
- Learn to Snowboard
- Get to the Bottom of Palisade
- Ride in a Fast Car with Max
- Ride a motorcycle
- Go Off Roading
NO LONGER INTERESTED IN DOING (17%)
- Go to Midnight Showing in Costume - I had opportunities to do this and just didn't care to. It would have to be for the right movie.
- Be Rainbow Brite for Halloween. - I might still do this someday, but the last two years it has been more important to me to make a family theme than to go all out for my own costume.
- Figure Out/ Visit a State Park - I figured out what park it was, discovered I couldn't access it in the way I want (hiking in a certain place in a certain picture. Its prohibited due to erosion), so since I can't do that hike, I sort of lost interest.
- Cake Decorating. - You know, I would like to be better at this, but its just not THAT important to me compared to many other things.
- Learn to cook pancakes, poach an egg, and cook souffle. - DH is in charge of pancakes, and the other two no longer appeal to me I learned about French Toast already)
AM STILL GOING TO TRY TO COMPLETE BY THE END OF MAY (23%)
- Learn to Drive a Manual Transmission. This seems unlikely because the weather, but I hope I can at least get a couple lessons in.
- Drive to Thunder Bay. Again Unlikely due to weather/time, but it could happen!
- See the Big Spoon. I should be able to do this if I prioritize it!
- Write Something Good Enough to Have my Friends Read. Might have to shoot for a poem or essay rather than a story...
- Go Fishing. Might be able to squeeze this in in May?
- Make a quilt that has more than 90 degree angles. I am IN PROGRESS on this.
- Bake 10 Different Kinds of Bread. I have done two so far. I could make it!
OK This post has gotten long enough. Those are the status of all of my past and present goals... now to add on 2014 Resolutions....
1. READ - Read 48 Books - of which, 10 should be books I already own, 10 should be published in 2013, and 5 should be books that were recommended to me in 2011 that I failed to tackle.
Yeah.... not so much. I don't think I read ANY books that were published this year, or ones that were recommended to me. Overall, I read 35 books. Not bad, not my goal.
2. HEALTH - Do not drink soda. Period. Only exception I can think of is extreme illness like I had two weeks ago where Soda was the only thing giving me calories. Otherwise, no Soda. At all. Start to walk at work 20-30 minutes a day. Train for the inline marathon (we will see if I can do it). Eat more varied dinners and get out of the ground beef rut. I want to feel strong again. Get a physical and go to the dentist. Cut back on or even eliminate caffeine (should be easier now that I won't be having soda!)
I did OK on this, didn't get everything done, but I did some of it. I did pretty good on the Soda ban, I really hardly drank any until about November, and then I caved, but now I view soda as a treat, not a daily habit, so I would say mission accomplished. I did walk at work a lot... but haven't recently and should start it back up (especially since my Dr just reminded me how important it is). I also did the In Line marathon. I did not cut back on caffeine and I did not really improve the variety/nature of our dinners.
3. COMMUNICATE - Get skype set up with the ILs. Send out appropriate greeting cards (Sorry no Xmas card this past year...). Re-connect to some people from Cbus I have failed to chat with this year. Go on more date nights with DH. Make some new connections here in Duluth.
I did get Skype going w the ILs there for awhile, but broke the habit when we went and visited them at Christmas! The rest of these, I fail.
Besides these goals, I of course had the 30x30 list to be getting on with. As time has passed, they pretty much have broken down into a few categories...
DONE (27%)
- Buy a home that may be our forever home
- Inline Skate a Marathon
- Go shopping at the mall of America
- Read War and Peace
- Dye my Hair Red
- Do a long trail ride with a "scary" hill
- Learn to Like Mushrooms
- Hike a specific section of the Superior Hiking Trail
HAVE BECOME IMPOSSIBLE (27%)
- Have a second child - you guys would know if I was going to have a baby by May
- Do 100 Hrs of Community Service. It would have had to be spread out, I can't cram that into 5 months.
- Go Out on Lake Superior in a Boat. Its under ice... don't think it will be a pleasant experience by the end of May/
- Learn to Snowboard
- Get to the Bottom of Palisade
- Ride in a Fast Car with Max
- Ride a motorcycle
- Go Off Roading
NO LONGER INTERESTED IN DOING (17%)
- Go to Midnight Showing in Costume - I had opportunities to do this and just didn't care to. It would have to be for the right movie.
- Be Rainbow Brite for Halloween. - I might still do this someday, but the last two years it has been more important to me to make a family theme than to go all out for my own costume.
- Figure Out/ Visit a State Park - I figured out what park it was, discovered I couldn't access it in the way I want (hiking in a certain place in a certain picture. Its prohibited due to erosion), so since I can't do that hike, I sort of lost interest.
- Cake Decorating. - You know, I would like to be better at this, but its just not THAT important to me compared to many other things.
- Learn to cook pancakes, poach an egg, and cook souffle. - DH is in charge of pancakes, and the other two no longer appeal to me I learned about French Toast already)
AM STILL GOING TO TRY TO COMPLETE BY THE END OF MAY (23%)
- Learn to Drive a Manual Transmission. This seems unlikely because the weather, but I hope I can at least get a couple lessons in.
- Drive to Thunder Bay. Again Unlikely due to weather/time, but it could happen!
- See the Big Spoon. I should be able to do this if I prioritize it!
- Write Something Good Enough to Have my Friends Read. Might have to shoot for a poem or essay rather than a story...
- Go Fishing. Might be able to squeeze this in in May?
- Make a quilt that has more than 90 degree angles. I am IN PROGRESS on this.
- Bake 10 Different Kinds of Bread. I have done two so far. I could make it!
OK This post has gotten long enough. Those are the status of all of my past and present goals... now to add on 2014 Resolutions....
Sunday, January 19, 2014
NEW YEARS Questions
I am going to have difficulty finding these next years... I am going to forget I did it late and be looking in December wondering where they all are... oh well.
I have done these three "surveys" for the last several years so I want to keep it up, even if I am late.
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before? I am really struggling with the very first question! Nothing much pops out. I learned what coolant was in a car? I parented a toddler? I got it! I hosted a PLAYDATE. ROLLERBLADED A MARATHON (now I am on a roll...) haha
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I will write another post about this. I didn't really do a very good job with my resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Welcome Belle to the world! And a cousin, welcome Jackson! both in December too... squeaking in under the wire...
4. Did anyone close to you die? My Grandma
5. What countries did you spend time in this year? Just America.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? More of a plan for the future? I don't know, to be happy with what we have!
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I am not really a "date" person I guess. The new big anniversary is my SIL's wedding!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finding a new job that works better for me.
9. What was your biggest failure? Bad diet, and bad diet for Benjamin
10. Did you suffer any serious injury or illness? No (lets have it stay that way...)
11. What was the best thing you bought? A car that DH likes!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? DH for being an great husband/father.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed? the media and politicians
14. Where did most of your money go? Daycare, mortgage, eating
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The release of "Catching Fire" movie, our big trip to Arizona and seeing the Grand Canyon, Benjamin's first Christmas that he was aware of what was going on.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013? Royals (its prolific)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? about the same I think
c) richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? organizing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? miscommunicating
20. How did you spend Christmas? In Wichita w/the ILs
21. Did you fall in love in 2013? Stayed in love!
22. What are the main websites you used? Zetaboards, Facebook, Pinterest
23. Did you write anything worth reading this year? no. I don't think I wrote anything at all actually....
24. What was your favorite TV program? How I Met Your Mother (on Netflix)
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I try not to hate people in general.
26. What was the best book you read? Looking at Good Reads, I read a lot of 4 star books! I guess my favorite two were Fault In Our Stars and Casual Vacancy
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? nothing new
28. What did you want and get? A new job, and other things
29. What did you want and not get? lottery win
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Catching Fire
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 29. On my actual birthday we did a low-key night out at Noodles&Co with my mom. There was a bigger family party the weekend before it.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Winning the lottery.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013? Started out as "dress slightly nicer then everyone else in the office"... ended up as "I hate most my clothes and don't care what I wear".
34. What kept you sane? The help and support of my family and friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? No one pops to mind... I enjoyed all of the coverage that Jennifer Lawrence got.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? The Government shutdown was pretty ridiculous. I was pleased with the gains made for equal rights.
37. Who did you miss? My Graduate School Friends, my ILs
38. Who was the best new person you met? a couple of work people (from both my old job and new job actually)
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013? You never know what is going to happen next, just keep swimming!!
40. What word or phrase sums up this year? "Happily Ever After"
1 hour ago... I was reading Benjamin his bedtime books, current favorite is "Good Night Construction Site"
1 day ago... I was watching Top Gear with DH
1 month ago... Rushing to get the last of DS's Christmas gifts together so we could celebrate early.
1 year ago... I was sleep training Benjamin, trying to get him sleeping better and in his own room
1 decade ago... I was a Sophomore in College, probably home for Chritmas, missing DH terribly
1 lifetime ago... I think I was in revolutionary in Russia
5 minutes ago... I was talking to DH about how I hadn't seen the Knee injury...
5 hours ago... I was watching Payton Manning play Tom Brady in the AFC Championship, and feeling very queezy
5 days ago... I had book club for a book about the Comanche
5 months ago... I had just started my new job with the county
5 years ago... I was teaching the one and only college course I ever taught.
The rule is simply: Post the first line of each month of my blog from the last year.
JANUARY: This is going to be a good year.
FEBRUARY: One of the hard things about setting a sleep schedule is that its hard to be able to sleep in on weekends or do stuff in the evenings.
MARCH: Benjamin slept really well last night again! He woke up around 10:30pm and needed comforting.
APRIL: On Sunday we had our normal family holiday - lots of food and good company.
MAY: Its been a long time since I posted a sleep update, over a month actually.
JUNE: Yesterday Benjamin turned 17 months old!
JULY: We had a fabulous 4th of July. First, we took a long walk as a family, with Benjamin in the stroller. It was very pleasant.
AUGUST: My paternal Grandmother was laid to rest today. I was not able to attend the funeral, so I wanted to take a minute to write about her.
SEPTEMBER: Friday Night 8/30/13 - After work we headed out to my parent's house for pizza night. It got off to a really late start because my BIL and Bro had to work late, but that was OK because we planned to stay up for a campfire anyways!
OCTOBER: I want to post and tell you about the awesome hike I took up the shore as part of my 30x30 list. It was beautiful, gave me a new bucket list goal (as in lifetime bucket list), and taught me something about hobbies and efforts.
NOVEMBER: FRIDAY Halloween Carnival!! We went to the elementary school Halloween Carnival (now called the Fall Festival).
DECEMBER: The Best Advice for New (and Not-So-New) Moms
I have done these three "surveys" for the last several years so I want to keep it up, even if I am late.
Exercise #1
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before? I am really struggling with the very first question! Nothing much pops out. I learned what coolant was in a car? I parented a toddler? I got it! I hosted a PLAYDATE. ROLLERBLADED A MARATHON (now I am on a roll...) haha
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I will write another post about this. I didn't really do a very good job with my resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! Welcome Belle to the world! And a cousin, welcome Jackson! both in December too... squeaking in under the wire...
4. Did anyone close to you die? My Grandma
5. What countries did you spend time in this year? Just America.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? More of a plan for the future? I don't know, to be happy with what we have!
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I am not really a "date" person I guess. The new big anniversary is my SIL's wedding!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finding a new job that works better for me.
9. What was your biggest failure? Bad diet, and bad diet for Benjamin
10. Did you suffer any serious injury or illness? No (lets have it stay that way...)
11. What was the best thing you bought? A car that DH likes!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? DH for being an great husband/father.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed? the media and politicians
14. Where did most of your money go? Daycare, mortgage, eating
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The release of "Catching Fire" movie, our big trip to Arizona and seeing the Grand Canyon, Benjamin's first Christmas that he was aware of what was going on.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013? Royals (its prolific)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? about the same I think
c) richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? organizing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? miscommunicating
20. How did you spend Christmas? In Wichita w/the ILs
21. Did you fall in love in 2013? Stayed in love!
22. What are the main websites you used? Zetaboards, Facebook, Pinterest
23. Did you write anything worth reading this year? no. I don't think I wrote anything at all actually....
24. What was your favorite TV program? How I Met Your Mother (on Netflix)
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I try not to hate people in general.
26. What was the best book you read? Looking at Good Reads, I read a lot of 4 star books! I guess my favorite two were Fault In Our Stars and Casual Vacancy
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? nothing new
28. What did you want and get? A new job, and other things
29. What did you want and not get? lottery win
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Catching Fire
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 29. On my actual birthday we did a low-key night out at Noodles&Co with my mom. There was a bigger family party the weekend before it.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Winning the lottery.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013? Started out as "dress slightly nicer then everyone else in the office"... ended up as "I hate most my clothes and don't care what I wear".
34. What kept you sane? The help and support of my family and friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? No one pops to mind... I enjoyed all of the coverage that Jennifer Lawrence got.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? The Government shutdown was pretty ridiculous. I was pleased with the gains made for equal rights.
37. Who did you miss? My Graduate School Friends, my ILs
38. Who was the best new person you met? a couple of work people (from both my old job and new job actually)
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013? You never know what is going to happen next, just keep swimming!!
40. What word or phrase sums up this year? "Happily Ever After"
Exercise #2
1 minute ago... I was watching a guy's knee bend the entirely wrong way on the NFC Championship Game1 hour ago... I was reading Benjamin his bedtime books, current favorite is "Good Night Construction Site"
1 day ago... I was watching Top Gear with DH
1 month ago... Rushing to get the last of DS's Christmas gifts together so we could celebrate early.
1 year ago... I was sleep training Benjamin, trying to get him sleeping better and in his own room
1 decade ago... I was a Sophomore in College, probably home for Chritmas, missing DH terribly
1 lifetime ago... I think I was in revolutionary in Russia
5 minutes ago... I was talking to DH about how I hadn't seen the Knee injury...
5 hours ago... I was watching Payton Manning play Tom Brady in the AFC Championship, and feeling very queezy
5 days ago... I had book club for a book about the Comanche
5 months ago... I had just started my new job with the county
5 years ago... I was teaching the one and only college course I ever taught.
Exercise #3
The rule is simply: Post the first line of each month of my blog from the last year.JANUARY: This is going to be a good year.
FEBRUARY: One of the hard things about setting a sleep schedule is that its hard to be able to sleep in on weekends or do stuff in the evenings.
MARCH: Benjamin slept really well last night again! He woke up around 10:30pm and needed comforting.
APRIL: On Sunday we had our normal family holiday - lots of food and good company.
MAY: Its been a long time since I posted a sleep update, over a month actually.
JUNE: Yesterday Benjamin turned 17 months old!
JULY: We had a fabulous 4th of July. First, we took a long walk as a family, with Benjamin in the stroller. It was very pleasant.
AUGUST: My paternal Grandmother was laid to rest today. I was not able to attend the funeral, so I wanted to take a minute to write about her.
SEPTEMBER: Friday Night 8/30/13 - After work we headed out to my parent's house for pizza night. It got off to a really late start because my BIL and Bro had to work late, but that was OK because we planned to stay up for a campfire anyways!
OCTOBER: I want to post and tell you about the awesome hike I took up the shore as part of my 30x30 list. It was beautiful, gave me a new bucket list goal (as in lifetime bucket list), and taught me something about hobbies and efforts.
NOVEMBER: FRIDAY Halloween Carnival!! We went to the elementary school Halloween Carnival (now called the Fall Festival).
DECEMBER: The Best Advice for New (and Not-So-New) Moms
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