Thursday, July 12, 2012


Time is moving very quickly and I do not have much time at all to post, so when I do have time to post I cannot decide what is most important to me. We will see what spills out.

Some things I want to write down about Benjamin before I forget. First time with solids was on Sunday, July 8th - roasted chicken and carrots w/bbq, and sweet potato fries. He liked the chicken for sure, not so much the bbq. He couldn't really figure the carrots out and I think he liked the sweet potato but DH thinks he did not. Since then he has also had red bell pepper, tomato, avocado, hamburger, cucumber, wheat bun, and onion. I would like to post more about baby lead weaning for you all, but not tonight. Other baby stuff - He tried to put his pacifier in my mouth last week and thought it was hilarious when I "ate" his hand instead. In general he has been putting his hand in my mouth recently and laughing if I close my teeth at all on it.  He was laughing socially last night - just laughing because we laughed. He is making friends at daycare and I am informed has a specific boy who is a bit older (12m?) and always makes him laugh. He likes mirrors even more now (though they always were a good way to get him to smile). Still no sign of teeth. Still totally not mobile. Still can't roll from his front to back and does not even seem to try. I think he will get to crawling/mobility from the sitting position. He can practically do a sit up with a little help from hands to grab for leverage.

Work is, well, it changes day to day. Monday was very tedious and frustrating, but Tuesday was decent. Wednesday there was nothing to do, and today was kinda negative. Right now we are "trapped" in a training room with a coworker showing us how to do things. I say trapped because we are beginning to feel like we are under a filter of negativity. The coworker training us is negative about everything - the company, Duluth, the economy, cost of living, anything that comes up he is negative about. Its getting to us. And by we/us I mean the other new trainee K and me. I am hoping once we get out of the training room and on the floor we can start to decide for ourselves what is negative and positive and have a better daily experience.

Benjamin is at daycare for about 9.5 hrs a day. I leave work at 4:30pm exactly and rush down to pick him up. I find delaying this for anything - an errand, talking to someone at the end of the workday, etc, painful. I don't know why the 5-10 minutes matters so much, but I get SO focused on just wanting to go get him and have him with me again its a bit crazy.

Between work, baby, and feeding baby (read pumping), we are not settling into the new house as quickly as I had hoped. Baby is asleep now and I should be unpacking, but I am blogging instead. I just had to switch my lunch/break schedule to accommodate pumping twice during the workday as my output from once a day was dropping.  That means I now have no lunch or breaks EXCEPT when I am pumping. I thought this would be more stressful than it is, but luckily the switch coincided with me returning to reading, and now that I read while I pump, it does not seem so bad.

Finally, the real thing on my mind right now is a woman who I hardly know. I know her through my Columbus Women's message board, on which I am still active. She is losing her baby at 32w pregnant. I can't get her out of my mind and I really wish there was more to do to help. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking an experience it is for her.  I am posting it here is in the hopes it helps get it out of my system. A little omnipotency would help at the moment so I could undue this horrible experience for her. But what can I offer? Just my thoughts I guess.


Rachel said...

Don't worry: Unpacking can wait. :-) Are you pumping full time? If so, that's rough and I know how you feel...been there, done that.

Allison said...

I felt the same way about the girl from the message board. I wish there was something we could do to ease her pain.

I'm glad you found a silver lining with the pumping. I pump at my desk so I work while I'm doing it. I'm impressed you were able to just pump once a day and get enough. I only pumped twice today (typically 3 times) and got almost the amount I typically get, but won't be doing it again, I don't think. Too paranoid.