Tuesday, September 8, 2009

An Unexpected Diagnosis

I got a call from the doctor today saying my thyroid level came back high, indicating hypothyroidism. (I know... that seems backwards, doesn't it? Turns out they don't actually test the level of thyroid hormones, instead they test the amount of thyroid-stimulating hormones, if your level is high it means your body is trying to get your thyroid to produce more, meaning it is not producing enough, hence the hypo- prefix.)

This sort of sent my mood into a downward spiral - not so much because of the hypothyroidism - everyone and their brother is telling me its no big deal - but rather because it was unexpected. When I had my blood drawn last Thursday I expected no news, no diagnosis. So when I got a diagnosis of anything it came as a bit of a shock. Put into that the compounding factor of being home alone and today pretty much sucked.

So, when I went to take Grim for her evening walk I decided I needed to try and get out of this funk! (DH is still not home, work has been very busy lately). I made the walk extra long and tried to concentrate on thinking up what I could doto reverse my mood (cheer myself up). It wasn't easy. Many of things I thought of to do that would make me happy were not doable, either because they involved other people that are not available, places not reachable, or circumstances outside of my control (example: hang out with friend R, be in the wilderness, stand in the rain). So then I started trying to just think my way positive so to speak, which was undoubtedly an uphill battle. Eventually, nearly home, I seized briefly on the sunflowers now blooming my my backyard. There are two in full bloom and a few more on their way. They are my limited success story on gardening this summer. It was calming, though I would not say cheering.

When I got home from the walk, I picked up the mail and my October issue of Everyday with Rachel Ray has arrived. Its cover is black and orange and has a barrel-full of crisp fall leaves on it. That did the trick. Up until now, I have been hesitant for the arrival of fall. That is unusual for me, usually I love fall and can't wait for it to come. Now I am totally ready, I think fall is just the change I need. Bring on the colored leaves and football, the pumpkin carving and creepy decorations, the squash, maple syrup, and apples.

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