Two Hours in My Mind (An Experiment in Stream of Consciousness)

I walk into the classroom where my economics course is held five minutes before class starts, feeling late because the classroom fills up so far. Luckily there are two desks available around where I normally sit. I switch the position of the two desks so I can be both comfortable and in the preferable location. I open my notebook, write the date on the top of the page, note that I missed a class so if I go back to look at my notes it will make sense that they are not continuous, and start doodling. A guy comes in and asks me to scoot back so he can squeeze by. He sits next to me and asks how I have been. This guy is nice enough, but I don't particularly like talking to him because he always seems to be flirting. He even asked me out once. Of course, now he knows I am married, but the flirting thing is still weird. He complains about how boring class is. I doodle. I wonder if he is watching me doodle.

Class starts. The professor jumps into the middle of the Spence Model. Really? We are still in game theory? I really thought we would be out of game theory by now. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered coming. Going for an extended bathroom break sounds nice, but it would be awkward to come back in. The professor says he is sick so at least we might get out early. He jumps into the model and I quickly figure out what model it is. I did not know its name but I have done the model. I wish there was something else I could do to occupy my mind besides listen to him. Perhaps I could make a to do list. But I don't really feel like it. I could list the countries of the world, but I know them very well now so its no where near as challenging or entertaining as it used to be. There is some work I could be doing for a group project, but I feel guilty when I think about that so I move on. The professor is now explaining the separating equilibrium. I copy it down half-heartily, not bothering to fully comprehend it because I know I can figure it out again later (since it is review anyways). This is a pretty good professor most of the time. I wonder how good of a teacher I am. I know I get to technical with explanations sometimes, but when I feel myself doing that I try to back step and start over with an example or a more plain-English way of describing the concept. I did that today with over-valuated currencies in Africa. Talking about currency is always hard.

Now the professor is talking about something called the intuitive criterion. I have not heard of it, but I cannot get myself to concentrate. It has to do with when someone will make a mistake in a game. I will have to look it up in the book later. All the sudden there is a huge outburst of noise outside the classroom. What the heck? Very odd. The professor ignores it for about thirty seconds and then stops lecturing and looks skeptically at the door. The whole classroom starts laughing as we listen to what seems to be someone throwing a fit down the hall. The boy in front of me gets up and closes the door. I wonder what he is yelling about? I imagine possible scenarios - a worker that just got fired? or maybe that is just some one's lecture method? Despite the door being closed, I can still hear it very loudly since I am near the door. I am sort of thankful for that because its something to think about besides the lecture. It gets particularly loud and I look around to see if anyone else is also listening. I try to find someone to make eye contact with, a shared moment of hilarity and confusion. I lock eyes for a second with a blond girl who I have talked to but don't know her name. We both laugh. Social behavior is very strange when you get thinking about it. The professor is talking about timing. Definitely review. All the sudden there is an outburst of laughter from an entire classroom. It must be a class making that noise. I wish I was there, laughing at someone sounds much better than this. I bet it is a Drama class. The noise dies down, and now there is only the occasional applause.

The professor finishes game theory and pauses awkwardly. There is a shuffle in the classroom, a collective wish that he wants to end the class because his cold. Instead we are told he feels OK and he will continue on to Monopolies. I should take notes now. The classroom is very oddly shaped, sort of a trapezoid, but only slightly, and with one corner cut off. There are built-in book cases on the opposite side of the room. I copy the first-order condition off the blackboard and wonder why they are there. The building must have been built at a time when bookshelves in a classroom would make sense. I realize I have missed the second order condition and copy down a graph from the board. Perhaps the classroom was built when teachers still had their own classrooms, or at least where classrooms were always used for the same subject. Now those bookshelves are completely useless. No one will leave anything on them except perhaps garbage. The professor moves onto comparative statics. Review. It is clear that the book I am reading by Nabokov right now is rubbing off on me. Transparent Things has a tendency to drop off into the history of random objects that the characters encounter, trying to prove the philosophical point that material objects inherently have history and suck us into history. Perhaps he is right, or he is just rubbing off on me. I wonder what someone else would think if they could read my thoughts, if this random flirtatious guy next to me knew I was considering a Nabokov model. If someone could read minds like Edward in Twilight, or like the legilimency from Harry Potter. I just listened to that section of book five in the car last night on my way to Krispy Kremes. The professor makes the point that monopolies will produce enough items such that the marginal price equals the marginal cost. This is good review, I jot that down quickly.

It is strange how different people view the world so differently. If someone could spend a day in my head, they probably would get a whole new view of the world. Of course, it would be a double-lens of sorts since it would be what they were thinking about what I was thinking. It is fascinating the way different people's minds work differently. I should blog about how I think, perhaps a stream of conscious. In fact, this class would not be a bad topic to do that about since I am mainly sitting here trying not to be bored. The professor explains why resale undermines the ability of monopolies to price discriminate, especially preventing first degree price discrimination. It makes me think of the fuss over the Child Safety act that threatened to end resale of many baby items. I spent a lot of time reading up on that and I don't know why. I think I just like feeling knowledgeable. It is of course possible that DH was right and that was all a conspiracy of sorts, or I should say, a result of special interest pressure on the congress to help eliminate resale and foreign goods. It seems a bit ridiculous to me, but a lot of things in politics are ridiculous. A lot of people are spazzing out about Obama's budget at the moment, but I think it is just politicking and will get cut down by Congress. I think by offering many proposals, more are likely to get passed. And if something important is left out, Obama can blame congress this way. I am not sure how I feel about Obama politicking. I mean, he has to do it to get things done in Washington, but his image of integrity is threatened by it. I remember thinking that H. Clinton would make a better president because she would know how to get things done, but I guess that Obama knows his way around politics just fine.

The professor has moved onto second degree price discrimination. I write down the definition and then return to daydreaming since I understand it without the example he is about to give. I am really tired and think about the trouble I had falling asleep last night. Every time I turned off the TV my head developed into either a huge, guilt and worry filled mess, which is relatively typical, or I saw little monkeys shooting darts at balloons. I obviously have been playing way to much Bloon Tower Defense. It is sort of ridiculous really. Finally I turned on the first Harry Potter movie that was on the Disney channel and rolled over and tried to go to sleep. It was not working so well. I just kept thinking and thinking. I think the Harry Potter movies are permanantly imprinted on my brain. I wonder if that is a bad thing. I don't think so. Finally DH came in and changed it to sports and asked me some questions which I answered in an extremely disoriented and I am sure humourous manner and then he got into bed. It is so much easier falling asleep when you can be thinking about how cold his hand is on my side or something rather than trying to determine the future.

Woah! My professor just drew a seriously weird demand curve. I wonder why. Oh. Its still second degree price discrimination. He then draws a normal demand curve and shows how a similar idea works on the different curves. It makes sense so I start to tune out again. Then he suddenly interrupts himself and says we are all looking at him like he is speaking ancient Greek and are their any questions? We seem to have rocked his boat. I wonder if my face looked confused. It has a tendency to do that when I am thinking. I wonder how I will get to my doctors appointment tomorrow, and how it will go. It sounds like I will be having a lot of random standard tests done that I have never had, like cholesterol and such. I hope my report is good. Now he is showing us how to find the area of a triangle. Not just any triangle, a very specific triangle. Review. I am getting really drowsy. He puts up the definition of third degree price discrimination and I write it down, noting the examples of coupons and international markets. Coupons... we should use more coupons. Actually we should grocery shop more and I should cook more. It is one of my failed New Years resolutions, but its not to late. I could make it a spring resolution, accompanying my spring resolution to lose weight. What is an inverse demand function? Oh well. I don't think its an important, and I can figure it out later if it is. I am cooking at least one more time this week - the cooking club recipe. It sounds tasty. I should soak the beans tonight. I am excited to be hosting book club next month. I hope people like the book. I hope DH gets the projects around the house done he promised back in December to have finished by March. I wonder what room I should hold book club in.

People seem to be packing up to leave. Is it time to go? The professor has finished his Third Degree Price Discrimination Examples. I try not to jump the gun and rudely rustle my papers. I slowly put the caps on my pens. He is trying to tell us what we are doing for the rest of the quarter and I just can't pay attention. Oh well. I wonder if my class pays attention when I tell them similar things. He is done. Finally I can get out of here. Maybe I will go blog about it.