Coming out of the weekend I feel more worn out than rejuvenated. It's probably my fault for spending too much energy dwelling on how DH's employer is unnecessarily harming us. I have told a few people its not worth dwelling on, talking about the frustration or anger just feeds into it and makes it worse. I think this is a common problem. When someone is angry they want to vent it, tell everyone, but depending on the situation, the act of telling someone and effectively passing the anger onto that person actually just builds more anger or indignation in themselves. Not that this is always the case, or we never should be angry, just something to think about. If you are super angry about something that is an honest injustice, something you can do nothing about, repeating it over and over for days is not really the way to get over it. Every time you tell someone about it, they will justify your anger and make it deeper. As much as I have been trying to avoid that trap, it still was a sullen, stressed weekend.
Not to mention, when I am sullen and stressed I am completely unproductive. I now have two days until my first economics assignment is due and one week until my oral exams. I also feel an increased pressure on my oral exams, while I will not be immediately unemployed if I fail to pass them, I will certainly be in a position to decide whether I want to stay at the university; a decision that previously would have had little to do with money/stability and now has a lot to do with it.
When I woke up this morning my very first thought was "today sucks." I cannot think of a more depressing way to start the morning and quickly tried to switch to a more positive mantra, something along the lines of today is a good day and I can be productive today. Maybe if I could find something positive to concentrate on, the weather or something, I could feel better, because trying to be positive on its own is just not working.
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