Book Club and "Poli Sci" Club

By popular request (OK. So, in all reality, by the ONLY request), I decided to write an entry about book club. However, about half way through I left and went to my event for the evening, a belated bridal shower for a member of my cohort. The stark contrast between the two events is unignorable, and had to become the topic of my post. Allow me to start backwards and talk about tonight first.

Tonight I headed over to a friends house for a belated bridal shower. After getting their early and helping set up, people began to trickle in. It was nice seeing people at first, a couple girls who I have not seen in quite a while were there. Unfortunately the turnout was pretty bad. There were five of us their before the "surprise" occured. The unsuspecting victim walked in, we all yelled surprise, and we gave her her card. Then, her and the two people she rode with came in and ate. The rest of the evening? As in the next 2 1/2 hours? We sat in a circle and talked about graduate school. We repeated every used-up, old story that has been told before about various parts of graduate school. We repeated conversations we have had a million times, and most of us acted like they were new. We repeated conversations that annoyed me the 1st time we had them, let alone the 2nd, the 3rd, and the 200th. They talked about how bad our first year, first quarter stats professor was, and I defended him - a conversation we have been having for TWO YEARS now. I spent a lot of the evening, besides some choice moments that were actually great stories and I will have to share with you at some point, wanting to gouge my eyes out in boredom (or less drastically, wanting to leave).

I understand that we keep very busy with school, I live it just as they do.
I understand the need to talk about how frustrated we are with whatever stage of the process we are at and get it out there.
I understand that we all know the same people.
I understand how entertaining departmental gossip can be, I am not one to pass it by if its new and juicy.
I understand that not everyone has heard the same stories, and that we had one girl who was entirely new to the gathering there, who had heard nothing.

But, can we ever put that aside? Can't we spend an evening talking about what movies are out or what we watch on TV or *gasp* politics (you would be shocked how little political scientists talk about actual politics when it comes down to it), or the news, or how our families are, or what travels we have done, or what we are planning for spring break, or philosophy, or, here is a novel idea - the guest of honors wedding/husband, or weddings in general, or ANYTHING besides dissertations, exams, and professors? Can't we spend an evening playing Apples to Apples? I brought it. We did not touch it.

Don't get me wrong. I have friends in the department. I enjoy spending time with many of my cohort members. But, that time is invariably more pleasant when we officially ban anything school related as a potential topic for discussion, an event which occurs far too infrequently. I do not want to spend my life obsessing over everything school related. I want variety, I want new, interesting ideas and things. I want to laugh at jokes that I have not heard twelve times before. I do not want to be able to guess what topic or what story or even what sentence will come next in a conversation because its been said so many times before. Is that too much to ask?

Pause the movie. Rewind.

Thursday night I went to book club.

I am in a book club that was formed on an online message board for Columbus Womenv which I frequent . (I know. *GASP*. I went to meet people that I met on the internet?! How did I not get abducted? Raped? Murdered?). The fact is, this message board is a great resource. I know so many more people in Columbus then I ever would have had I not found it. I go to quite a bit of "real life" get-togethers with them, and have been doing so for probably two years now, though I don't know the exact date when I first took that leap (it was lunch with a couple of the ladies who work at OSU).

Anyways, Thursday night book club was at the house of one of the "nesties" I have known for a while (she has her own blog over at Bouncing Baby Buckeye if you would like to check it out!) She has a nice house, and I want to steal her Kitchen. She has it painted orange and I absolutely love it. So, I went over there after a long day and kicked back with a massive spread of food and about 11 other women. We were their for over four hours, and it seemed to pass just like that. We did discuss the book, though less than usual. That was fine by me. It was not a very deep book. I did not particularly enjoy it, but I am glad some people did. The book, which involved billion dollar fortunes, cheating husbands, divorce, crystal meth use, social climbing, tennis partners, rampant feminism, mother-daughter fights, bankruptcy, lying, pot, movie star exes, drunkedness, teen sex, teen pregnancy, miscarriage, escapism, media manipulation, and of course, born again Christians, inspired some very interesting conversations. We talked about the show Intervention and had some very amusing imitations of various types of addicts. Those of us who had read Twilight tried to convince those that hadn't that it was worth the time. They made me laugh until I cried, until I coughed (OK. Everytime I start coughing around a new group of people I feel like making the disclaimer: I AM NOT SICK. I AM NOT COUGHING GERMS ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE. Its a chronic cough, maybe asthma, maybe not, but really, I am OK, and I will not get you sick. I did not have an opportunity to make that disclaimer that night, so I will now.) I laughed really hard. I made them laugh really hard. I heard new stories and new jokes about topics and things I knew nothing about. They did not ask me about my dissertation. They did not spend the night verbalizing their stress and spreading those stresses to my shoulders. They did not expect me to reassure them or affirm them or justify them. And it was so much fun. I had a blast!!

The conclusions? Two fold:

(1) I need to do something about the constant repetitiveness of conversations with cohort members, or its going to start hurting my friendships as I grow increasingly frustrated.

(2) Book Club Girls... YOU ROCK!!