Wednesday's at Home

So, how do you like the new icy dragon theme? I think its OK. I am constantly torn between a background that reflects the name of the blog (i.e. Dragons) and a background that either reflects my mood, or something, through pictures I have taken. We will stick with this for a few days and see if it grows on me. Otherwise, I will be switching to some sort of wintery pictures.

I successfully established today that I can spend the Wednesday's this quarter at home. In a rare alignment of the stars, I have no classes or obligations on Wednesday that would drag me to campus. That left only the question of whether I can work at home, and today I established that I can. Having a desktop in my office is really helping out with that, a surprising and pleasant side effect of our laptop dying.

In other news, I don't like meeting with people. I do not like setting up meetings. I do not like going to them. I do not like talking. This is largely with regards to "for school" or "for work" and has come up in conversation multiple times in the last few days. First, when my friend mentioned she is thinking about joining a professional mentoring program (as a mentee) and wondered if I was interested. I politely pointed out that having to email/call and then meet with a near complete stranger, no matter how nice they were or how much they wanted to help me or how good it would be for me, sounded like pure hell to me. Even if it wasn't a stranger, that sounds so miserable to me. Then, a day later, it comes up again when my adviser asks me if I have scheduled a meeting to talk about my dissertation with someone. The conversation went something like this.

Him: "Did you schedule a meeting with W?"
Me: "No"
(I make a sheepish face)
Him: "Why not?"
Me: "Because I don't like meetings. I don't like scheduling them or dealing with them..."
(he looks at me like I am crazy and waits)
"Especially when I don't know what I am going to say"
(he nods with a bit of understanding but still seems puzzled)
"In other words, there is no good reason, just my own nonsense"
(he suddenly seems to understand)
Him: "I don't like scheduling meetings about my own work. I will schedule meetings will the end of time about other peoples work, but if its about my work... "
(he seems sympathetic)
"So, I'll tell you what. You are going to go back to your office and email him asking for a meeting. I will give you until Thursday to tell me when the meeting is, or that you are having trouble scheduling it"
(I nod in agreement, but he does not seem satisfied)
"And if you say you are having trouble scheduling, I can check with him"
Me: "Well, I wouldn't LIE to you about it.
(We both laugh)
Him: "I know you wouldn't..."
(He says, but still continues on with a strange look on his face)
"But some people just have weird little quirks"

If this is a weird little quirk of mine, it is not one that involves lying. Maybe exaggerating, maybe omitting the truth, but I certainly would not tell him I had a meeting scheduled when I did not. So... what did I do after this meeting? I went back to my office, thought about sending the email, balked at the idea of having to word it, and did not send it. Then, I thought of it this morning, balked at the idea of having to explain my ideas to him, and did not send it. Then, I thought of it during the dog walk this afternoon and balked at the idea of trying to not sound like a fool at the meeting, but promised myself I would send it when I got home, so I could say I sent it Wednesday afternoon (not night). Then I forgot about it for an hour or two... and now I just sent it, hating the wording of it. Now, once he schedules it, I will spend the next three days (or whatever), dreading it, worrying about what I am going to say, feeling like a complete fool. Thats just my "weird quirk" I guess.