Well, it seems that my worry about the cats was unfounded. 24 hours in isolation produced no new "accidents" and proper use of the litter box for both of them. It must have been something else we found on the carpet. Both cats are back out with us, currently enjoying the sun porch. It is still
But with orals 24 hours away, I am not doing so hot. I just got my last set of critiques from a fellow third year comparativist, someone who is very smart in a field I am not. His questions are damaging. I can not express how much I do not want to do this. I feel like I would give anything not to walk into that room tomorrow and allow them to interogate me, but in reality this is something I chose for myself and of course I am free to not go tomorrow. I have repeatedly answered the question, "What is your biggest fear?" with "Failure," and it really is true. Its hard to accept that I took something that is causing me such terror and stress on myself, that it is not someone elses "fault" I have to experience this.
DH is very sick of me asking the repeated question, "What if I fail? What if I fail?" He has the correct answers down pat. "At least you will know" "You will do something else with your life" "We still will be happy" and other things in the same spirit. That is the real key to comforting me people. If I tell you I am going to fail, don't try to convince me I won't, rather convince me that failing is not the end of existance.
I am off to a day of studying, stressing, and other unpleasant things. Wish me luck as I prepare for battle. I hope after tomorrow, whatever the outcome, the mood of this blog changes significantly.
2 comments:
You are right. Failing isn't the end of existance. It is just there.
thinking good thoughts for you! some of this post i felt like i could have written. you, and DH, are right. no matter what tomorrow at least you'll know and you two will still be great. you're a smart cookie! Sounds like DH has the supportive spouse of a student thing down pat. good luck tomorrow!
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